Tv Review: Numb3rs

Back in the day I watched this show with my dad quiet a bit. He was an electrical engineer and loved math almost as much as he loved his family. When the show was first talked about he got really excited and pretty much told all of us that we were going to watch the show together.

The show has been off the air for years now and is now completely on netflix, which is why I have been watching it for the last week nonstop. My boyfriend is about to shoot me for leaving it on all the time. This show is not great so much as it is a formula. If you have seen any cop show ever you have pretty much seen this one.

The minor difference is the math stuff. This was on of the first "gimmick" shows to come out in the cop range. It was before the market was flooded with shows like this. It is a very freshman effort, there are some gaps in explanation. One guy goes through girl friends all the time and they are never really talked about. The math guy explains everything in drawn out metaphors that make you want to hit him after the sixth episode in a row.

The math girl, who has a degree in math and cosmetology, some how is the best with computers and if there is a computer involved she is the one doing the work. There is an army cop and a black cop, or um feds.

As much as it is a formula show its a pretty good one. There are some excellent moments and if you like math or science its worth taking a look at.

Book Review: Angels' Blood and Archangel's Kiss by Nalini Singh

This book came out a while back and at the time I didn't want to read it because I was annoyed that the author was taking time away from her other series. Also I was annoyed as well because the cover of the first book has this woman with crazy white hair on it, and at the time I was in one of my extreme blond hating phases. But then a few days ago I gave in and read the books.

Blood starts off with the story of how Elena (birth name Elieanora, which is just crazy) gets stuck working for the Archangel of New York. Elena is a Guild Hunter, some one who finds vampires that try to skip out on their contracts with their angel masters and brings them back to their masters. In this world there are these extremely powerful angels that live in tandem with the vampires they create, and the humans they rule over.

Seeing as I read the second book first because the library is mean. The first book has a way more intriguing plot. There is a crazy murdering Archangel on the lose and they want to use Elena to find him. They are following the trail of blood trying to stop him before he get enough power to start over throwing other archangels.  Raphael, the Archangel of North America is dealing with a lot of tough issues including the fact that his attraction to Elena makes him more compassionate.

There are some funny side moments with friends and family of Elena. But the book follows a well paced plot. The romance is a little stiff. I don't really know if it comes through a whole lot. Mostly I got sex appeal out of this. Raphael is a little too over bearing, but not in stalking way like is now commonly assumed, but in the "I rule an entire continent and have lived for centuries, I will break you like a twig if you so much as sneeze wrong" kind of way. The end battle was pretty epic.

The second book follows a similar pattern except the end. I just didn't feel the conflict as much in the second book. At the end of the first book Elena is pretty much dying when Raphael kisses her giving her a infusion of ambrosia, something that only happens when an Archangel truly falls in love. Which as a fun little side effect not only heals Elena's broken back but turns her into and angel.

In the second book its all angel politics and they don't like Elena because she is Raphael's weakness. Also another Archangel invites them to a ball with the purpose of measuring Elena, which is code for try to kill her. So everyone want to kill Elena, and then the end just bottoms out all of a sudden. Yeah a body guard gets a bit beat up but they take out the angel that wanted to kill Elena for the purpose of Raphael being hurt rather quickly. And then the big bad scary archangel dies off screen because Elena flies out of there after they realize it is coming to a fight.

It was really annoying frankly because the entire book was building up to the fact that the Chinese archangel was a bit on the crazy side and could make zombies. She was going to be hard to deal with, problems were to be expected. Then just about nothing happens. I was bored at the finale. Yes I realize that seven archangels versus one would make the fight go faster than just two duking it out like in the first book. But this was kind of a let down.

Also the second book strongly deals with the fact that Elena's family was pretty much butchered by a vampire when she was a child. The reason the vampire targeted her family is that Elena is hunter-born, which means she can smell vampires and is stronger than most humans. So yeah, when she was like eight or so her two older sisters were brutally murdered in front of her and then the vampire forced some of their blood down her throat just to mess with her. Her mother who survived the mess later killed herself.

A great deal of the book was just her having never ending nightmares. I get that it was important to the series but it weighted the book down. Yes there is a third book so hopefully the story will pick back up. Also the romance in the second book was also sorta creepy as well. Now Raphael was pretty much like "you are mine, obey me" and when she didn't he just made people follow her. I don't really know if I believe this romance as a true love kind of thing.

Book Review: Flesh and Stone by Vikie Taylor

I have to ask, when a big burly guy kidnaps you or at least is the nice kidnapper of a group what is your response. The sane response is to be freaked out and not like that person.

My friend got me this book because he saw it at half price book store and was entertained by the cover and back. I should point out that he was in no way trying to find quality reading, he was on purpose trying to find bad books so that I could right mean reviews. I am here to tell you that he fulfilled his mission.

This is the second book apparently in a series about Gargoyles. On top of that this guy is a Pterodactyl when he turns into his monster form. Which just makes things crazy, like my brain does not wrap around it. Granted I have watched all of the bad SyFy channel movies about Pterodactyls so all I see are those poor animations and a puppet from a weird video that went viral my freshman year of college. So yeah after that first page when she described his transformation and then used the word majestic I laughed. All I can think about is silly looking CGI Pterodactyls eating bad actors.

Any way mr. dino is infiltrating an evil clan or gargoyles to learn more about them, because they tried to kidnap some kids a while back. The bad guys also kidnap women for the purpose of some slaves and baby makers, because oh yeah if you have a son you get reincarnated. I don't get that part there. They sorta skim over it which I find creepy.

Mrs. soon to be Dino is some red head that grew up in the hood, which I find hard to believe. I mean yes in Boston maybe. I don't know her story of growing up poor and then killing a social worker who tried to touch her. I just am not buying the person she is and the back story as the same person. Frankly she would be a lot more cut throat when it comes to her kidnappers.

Also I want to talk about Stockholm syndrome. I don't know if this is like a thing with romance writers but a good deal of these books use basically a stockholm syndrome kind of situation to create love. I mean nine times out of ten the girls get kidnapped or "held for their protection" by the main guy. The guys are nice to the women and they are crazy into them but they don't let them go talk to their families or friends. I am just saying that if you really look at these books a great deal of them.

The more I read these books the more I think about what I would do if this happened to me. I know if the guy is wearing a kilt I am going to flip a shit and run because no one and I mean no one is taking me away from indoor plumbing. A dinosaur shape shifter might have me bugging out as well.

Anyway I skipped like eight chapters and found out that the book is pretty much predictable. The undercover stuff gets dicey when they ask him to try and murder people and hold the girl to help motivate him. I was like, oh yeah that's a surprise. This is a paint my numbers book and frankly I might just skip another chapter or two and find out what happens.

The sad thing is that there was this gargoyles based short story I read a while back that I was totally into and for a brief moment I thought that it was the same author, sadly no.

Big News

Some one read one of my reviews and told me to back off. I am so excited. My first bit of negative feed back!

I like the bit about New York

Quote of the day

"I hate spring. I do not enjoy having plant sperm all over me and my car, and everyone's car. Its just one month long plant porno with continuous money shots. I say let it keep raining, keep the perverse plants away from me." -James

Book Review: Shadow Bound by Erin Kellison

First off the font in this book was huge. Well at least the digital version had huge font. Which is why I can say there really wasn't a whole lot going on in here. In fact the romance in this story kind of comes out of left field.

Basically the guy that is the grim reaper comes to our world to bang a chick and while he does that a demon gets lose in the world. The demon creates wraiths which are humans that now can't die. But Mr. reaper had a daughter with the woman and when she screams he can come through the veil between worlds to kill wraiths. The first part of the book was establishing all of this and then getting underway into explaining that this dude Adam wants to stop the wraiths.

And then like all of a sudden Talia, the main girl, and Adam are in love. It happens over the span of like a few sentences. I mean like a chapter before they still didn't trust each other. I was just like, well who needs foreplay in a romance?

I will say that while there are some really interesting concepts here they are not fully formed. Everyone just starts calling Talia a banshee after she screams once and no one investigates. And why is death a fairy? I mean like explanation. Also there are hellhounds near the end but that never comes up either. The story is interesting but underdeveloped. I think the large font was to bolster the page length because this book felt crazy short.

Book Review: Unholy Magic y Stacia Kane

I have taken to calling this series 'the adventures of towlie.' Mostly because this is what a book would be like if Towlie was the main character. This book is even more confusing than the last because a few things simply don't make sense for a good deal of things.

First off we have dead hookers and then there is a fake haunting happening as well. I still want to punch a third of the characters for speaking with such insane broken English. I get that its the slums, I do, but it hurts my brain. Also dragging around a guy with a gunshot wound doesn't sound like the best help when trying to stop a bunch of murdering ghosts.

Anyway I am going to read the third book soon and try and figure out how much I actually like this character. Self destructive doesn't even begin to cover it.

Quote of the day

I'm sorry I don't understand how lightening and an above ground pool are in competition.

My Phone Lives!

So my cell phone tragically had some fatal issues. But now I have an iPhone.

Book Review: The Darkest Secret by Gena Showalter

Secret is the seventh book in Showalter's Lords of the Underworld series. The series follows a group of immortal warriors who back in the day opened Pandora's box and then were cursed to carry the demons they released. They fight a group of humans who are lead by one of their former members. The series is perhaps one of my more favorite paranormal romance series out there. Most of the characters are a wide aray of interesting and crazy.

Amun is the lead warrior for this story and I would say while I found him interesting he was never really one of the big draws. He is the keeper of Secrets and thus doesn't speak for fear that the secrets he holds in his head will spill out and ruin people's lives. In previous books he communicated through sign language and mostly didn't have much to say. And while a few of the warriors have weaknesses I never really saw a huge issues with Amun not talking, I mean its not that huge of a handicap. But thing again having your mind filled with thousands of secrets of others doesn't sound pleasant.

Playing opposite Amun is Haidee or Hadiee or whatever. She is a semi-immortal who back in the day cut of Amun's best friend's head. Which you would think would have made some complications. But not really, they are both kind of like "what behading?" I will say that the reasons that they would not work out were in fact numerous but were treated like it was no big deal. I can't tell if I was just having trouble connecting with the characters or what but I just couldn't get into the book.

Oh I still read it in one day, but it just wasn't my favorite story out of the series. I was interested in what is going on with Strider, William and Paris. Because those three have issues. Mostly Paris and I find it hard that Showalter has been teasing me with his book for several books now. I checked the website and his book is two away, and it said heroine unknow, which is silly because we all know who it is.

I think there was a real potential with these characters to do something really crazy plot wise, but we ended up with what I consider a safe story. True they did go to hell for their little adventure but the tension wasn't crazy high. I miss the days when Aeron was trying to kill Danika. Anyway the part that bothered me the most was the end. Haidee dies and then the angel is like "she is not coming back" and then she comes back. It is not explained, they are just sorta like "well that's really awesome." I mean yes they were saying that she was born from a goddess blessed womb and had reborn a bunch of times but mister angel had been pretty sure she wasn't coming back.

I still liked the book and found a great deal of it worth while but this just sort of felt rushed. As much as I love the publishing rate that Showalter keeps up maybe she could slow it down to give each book extra time.

Camelot

So Starz has deiced to try its hand at the King Arthur legend. There are a couple episodes out already but I can say I have a good feel of things so far.

First off I want to punch Arthur, he is this very wimpy looking blond boy who still is very confused as to what he should be doing. They establish in the first episode that while he was trained and raised by a great philosopher he basically thinks with his dick. Which I want to know how he gets women when he is so damn scrawny. I feel like I could snap in in two and I am not that big myself.

Merlin appears to do jack shit so far. He basically gets pissed that Arthur hasnt completely stepped up to the king plate.

On the other hand Morgan is delicious. Bitch is evil and she knows it and she is fine with that. Not to mention that she commands a room. Her parts are my favorite so far and I am kind of hoping that take this long enough she gets to kill Arthur, because I am totally on board for that part.

I am entertained that they brought Gawain in as a character. (Those of us that had to read medieval literature in high school remember him and his beyond boring quest for something, and there was a girdle.) Frankly after having to read that story again this past summer I am intrigued to see what they are going to do with the "holiest" of the kings.

The thing about this series is, we have seen it. I mean I love the King Arthur legend but I have seen every version. This is like the first thing you write about as a fantasy author. I mean at this very moment there is a Merlin show on SyFy that frankly also blows. And yes we all love First Knight because Richard Gere, but frankly my personal favorite as always been Sam Neil in the original Merlin mini series. The point is I am bored, they are not pulling anything interesting out of their hats and at this point you at least have to try to entertain me, I mean at least Disney fucked with the whole story so they could have a girl Arthur.

Fun side fact: The British royal family has been naming boy Arthur for generations, but every single one dies before becoming King. Simmer on that.

Book Review: Tainted by Julie Kenner

I would just like to say that I don't believe when some one has just gone through some big change and they don't bring it up in conversation. If I woke up in a different body and some guy was telling me I was on a mission I would freak out first, and then demand explinations as to why I had a body swap.

So very much of the book is mush. The main character doesn't really do anything useful and then it turns out that she was tricked and is working for the evil team. Also the book didn't really end, it sorta stopped in the middle which means the series as a whole is the story.

The main character annoys me. All the side characters bug me just as much. The main guy did jack shit, the bad guys are all sorta easy to spot even when they are pretending to be good guys. Some of this was rather predictable and I was bored the entire time I was reading. I just don't have a lot to say because this book was very much a middle of the road kind of boring.

Movie Review: Hanna

This ladies and gentelmen is how its done. This is what a movie is supposed to look like, feel like smell like. These are the angles its should be shot from, these are the actors that can do the job. This is what the movies were supposed to be about, not the mass produced Micheal Bay shlop we are force feed on a regular basis. Yes there are guns and fighting but if you are not paying attention and using your brain than you miss half the movie. This is what a script should look like, this is what tone should feel like.

Hana is the story of a girl that is raised by her father in the woods with the sole purpose of eventually leaving to kill a CIA operative. It sounds like a basic kind of plot and few people have said that it has the bits and pieces of the Bourne series to it. But it is so much more. This is the most perfect modern version of a fairy tale, because true fairy tales had nothing to do with princes and everything to do with two women fighting to the death.

This movie is about a sheltered girl who is going to have to fight to the death with a much older more experienced woman. Along the way she encounters seven people that effect her choices, a family and three hired hands that are hunting her. There is symbolism and references to the Grimm fairy tales throughout. The visuals are stunning and the choice of music might be some of the best selections ever. This movie is a true marriage of thought and style with action.

If you don't see this movie I will hunt you down and strap you to a chair and force you to watch it, and if you philistine to appreciate it I will put your name in my book and then put a black line through it. (If anyone gets the book and strike reference I will get them a prize for naming the movie it is from.)

More Reasons Why Graphic Novels Need to be on E-Readers

The Dresden Files Graphic Novels:http://www.jim-butcher.com/books/dresden/comics

The Outlander Series in graphic novel: http://www.amazon.com/Exile-Outlander-Graphic-Novel/dp/0345505387

James Paterson has a bunch as well.

Movie Review: MirrorMask

My boyfriend hates cats, he will some times admit that they are cute but he insists that they are pure evil and not to be trusted. Until this movie I didn't really get what is problem was, now I am terrified of cats. You don't know true terror until a pack of hungry cats with people faces are circling you. I fully intend to have nightmares about these cats, I have marked it on my calender and everything.

I got this movie because Neil Gaiman, one of my favorite authors is the screen writer. I am not sure but I have to wonder how much of a pull he had in the art direction because this movie is visually stunning. The story is a simple sort of Alice in Wonderland tale that doen't move very quickly but you don't really notice with all the art work.

I can tell that this is Neil movie knowing his work with Coraline and Sandman. The dialogue rings true to him in every line and I think its a better testament to his skill than the adaption of Stardust. The entire movie has a rustic Circe de Solei kind of feel and the lighting for most of the movie is in shade of grey.

Tell me this is not creepy?

The truly impressive thing about the visuals is that real actors are messed with CGI in a way that comes of blended to the eye. I say this because watching slightly older cgi these days reveals the animation quickly. Don't believe, go watch LORT again and tell me if you can now see all those little times they tweaked a scene with cgi that you never caught back when the movies first came out. The jump in level of animation leaves cgi visible to the naked eye only two or three years later, yet this movie the blending and the art work makes the cgi a part of the world rather than something that stands out.

This is a must watch for anyone that calls themselves a true movie lover. Its whimsical and and daring all at the same time.

Best Day Ever!

So Borders is bankrupt: which is sad.

On a lighter note the store near me is closing and all books are 2.99 or cheaper. I got two books fro 1.60 each. I was not aware they were that cheap. I am going back tomorrow to clear out whatever is left of the romance and fantasy sections.

Yay!

Book Review: Hundred Thousand Kingdoms & The Broken Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin

I am reviewing two books at once because they are the same series and I am super lazy.  So yeah first off I accidentally read the second book first, or rather two chapters of the second book before I threw it away in confusion.

The first book is my favorite of the two by a long shot. The first book follows Yeine who is the daughter of the princess of the ruling family and a "barbarian." Shortly after the death of her mother she is called to the capital by her grandfather and soon finds herself in a very bad situation. In this fake world there are Gods and for a long time there were three Gods. Then the sun god got sorta pissed and killed the goddess of twilight and almost destroyed the world, because she was the one that created life. In a response he imprisons his brother, the god of night, and some of his children and came them to the ruling family to use as weapons.

The interesting thing about this story is it was told in an odd way, which I though was going to make me murder the book but really just made me read faster. Major parts of the story are told out of order as if Yeine keeps forgetting things and having to go back to talk about them. The way the story unfolded was wonderful. The gods had that kind of depth and scary that gods in fantays books always have, their moral code has nothing to do with your life or any life. There was a mystery to this book.

The books ends with Yeine becoming the new twilight goddess and restoring the world to its true balance by releasing the night lord and herself from their mortal prisons. They also make the sun god human so that he can wander the earth to learn compassion and humility for what he did to the world.

The second book follows a blind woman named Oree who happens to take care of the sun god in his new human form and is crazy boring. This book takes place fifteen years later than the first book but its boring. I just didn't feel the interesting any more. The story was told in a straight line which sort of ruined the novelty of the first book.

The thing is that I am crazy interested in the mythology of this world in the history of its people and its gods, and the second book doesn't cover any of that. The gods are the real draw for me and they goddlings as well. I have seen that the trisckster goddling will be the main character of the third book so I am cool with that, he was the first goddling.

One other thing is the author is African American and the heroines and even the sun god are all black, which I think is kind of cool. They even mention that the sun god and the twilight goddess made the first people to look like them, and Africa is the cradle of life. It was a fun twist in a fantasy world. I will also state that the ruling family that is super crazy evil are all crazy white to the point of being see through, not sure if that was to be some kind of metaphor because its shown that they were wrong.

Good News

There is a second season of Sekirei, which means more busty pokemon-esch women. I really want to know if the little boy with the power to wither things is useful at all in a fight or a complete let down.

Book Review: The Queen's Bastard by C.E. Murphy

I thought this book was going to be a fun spy novel in the middle ages. I didn't get anything like that at all. At first it seems like the story is taking place in a made of fantasy world and then about a third of the way into the book it becomes clear that the story is about Queen Elizabeth of England and the names of people and country's have just been changed.

The main character is the bastard daughter of fake Elizabeth. She really sucks as a spy in most respects. She just sleeps around which really is not spying at all. The story takes forever and there is very little tension. In fact the story takes a really odd turn when the girl figures out that she can use magic and then starts basically torturing friends with it just to see how fat she can go. It threw off most of the book.

I kept reading because I was waiting for something interesting to happen and it never really did. I was rather bored by the story and everything. This was just not really worth the effort.

Quotes from Dresden Files

Thomas - And I swear to you, by my own stunning good looks and towering ego, that I'm not lying to you.

"I'd hate to find out that the universe really wasn't conspiring against me." 

"When I burst out laughing at you, do you think you'll be offended?"

Just because you aren't paranoid, doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.

I'm sorry I did you just say a cult of porn star sorceresses?

Quote of the day

Archer: I'm not negotiating with a cyborg.
Lana: That's just a voice modulator.
Archer: You don't think cyborgs have that technology!?

Pam: Who taught you to punch, your husband?

Cheryl: Mopeds are fun but you don't want to let your buddies see you riding one.
Pam: I thought he meant I was fuel efficient. I had only had 10 ten beers.
Cheryl: 40s?
Pam: NO.... yes.

Book Review: Unholy Ghosts by Stacia Kane

The over all premise of this books took a while to come forward and in those first couple of chapters I was confused beyond words. That is normally the trouble with books where the protagonist starts off in the middle of something complicated.

Basically in the 1990s the dead rose of from the earth for a week and attacked the living. After it was over all the previous religions fell and a new religion based on magic and banishing the dead rose to power and took over the government. The main character is Chess Putnam is a witch that works for the Church of Truth. She is also a drug addict. The book opens with her drug dealer telling her there is the possibility that the new business venture he is trying is being haunted by evil ghost, so in order to pay off her debt she needs to get rid of the ghosts.

The mystery is actually very interesting the problem is the main character keeps getting high at important parts. I mean really there was some really interesting parts and I wanted to know but we had to take breaks for the character to get high. It made me want to snap my fingers at her and "hey, hey, hey, pay attention we have murder happening."

Also the entire book takes place in the slums of some city so everyone speaks in horribly broken English except for the main character, which made we want to punch all of them. Even the one guy I kind of liked, whose name was Terrible I kid you not, couldn't manage any kind of proper grammar even when they pointed out that he could read.

I am sorta on the fence with this book and perhaps the series. I really liked Terrible but Chess makes me kind of crazy.