Camelot

So Starz has deiced to try its hand at the King Arthur legend. There are a couple episodes out already but I can say I have a good feel of things so far.

First off I want to punch Arthur, he is this very wimpy looking blond boy who still is very confused as to what he should be doing. They establish in the first episode that while he was trained and raised by a great philosopher he basically thinks with his dick. Which I want to know how he gets women when he is so damn scrawny. I feel like I could snap in in two and I am not that big myself.

Merlin appears to do jack shit so far. He basically gets pissed that Arthur hasnt completely stepped up to the king plate.

On the other hand Morgan is delicious. Bitch is evil and she knows it and she is fine with that. Not to mention that she commands a room. Her parts are my favorite so far and I am kind of hoping that take this long enough she gets to kill Arthur, because I am totally on board for that part.

I am entertained that they brought Gawain in as a character. (Those of us that had to read medieval literature in high school remember him and his beyond boring quest for something, and there was a girdle.) Frankly after having to read that story again this past summer I am intrigued to see what they are going to do with the "holiest" of the kings.

The thing about this series is, we have seen it. I mean I love the King Arthur legend but I have seen every version. This is like the first thing you write about as a fantasy author. I mean at this very moment there is a Merlin show on SyFy that frankly also blows. And yes we all love First Knight because Richard Gere, but frankly my personal favorite as always been Sam Neil in the original Merlin mini series. The point is I am bored, they are not pulling anything interesting out of their hats and at this point you at least have to try to entertain me, I mean at least Disney fucked with the whole story so they could have a girl Arthur.

Fun side fact: The British royal family has been naming boy Arthur for generations, but every single one dies before becoming King. Simmer on that.

WTF Sam Neil, Movie Review: Under the Mountain

Don't ask me how I found this movie, but it was odd. So um there are aliens and they are in New Zeland, which is a change for aliens. There are trying to take over our world. Sam Neil is another alien that wants to help but is afraid to help because the last group of twins failed.

Oh yeah twins are needed to fight the evil aliens, and they have the have "twinness" which is a special bond. Which makes me think about escape to witch mountain. But yeah. I watched the whole movie and I can't really tell you who this was made for, or why it was made. There is some low budget stuff happening but then a big budget scene sneaks in. There were crazy tempo problems as well. The first twenty five, perhaps thirty minutes of the movie was two redhead kids looking depressed and then freaked out at random times. Their mom had died and then they were sent to the aunt and uncles. They can speak in each others heads but the boy hates it.

And then pretty much out of no where come Sam Neil making fire. My exact reaction upon seeing him in this movie was "WTF Sam Neil?" Not to mention that his character has little to no personality, so there is no reason for Sam Neil to be the one to play Mr. Jones.

Why are bad aliens always slimy and good ones look like us or have fire? I mean really. Bad aliens can't be fire based and we can't have slimy good aliens? Yes I understand that the reason these things happen are our connotations of these ideas, but I like it when things get mixed up a little bit.

The end of the movie came down to the kids throwing some rocks in a dormant volcano. I would say that it was a horrible movie and there was nothing great, but it was better than Last Air Bender. I shit you not. Last Air Bender was a great series and M. Night Shamalamdingdong f-ed it up big time in perhaps the biggest let down of my life. So yes this movie is greater than Last Air Bender. But it does have that 'this was a kids book we turned into a movie' feel. And of course now that I go look up a picture I see that it is. That makes way more sense.