Goals

I want to be the Zero Punctuation of book reviews. Not that I want to say a lot or say things quickly, just that I want to tear things apart. I feel that most of us love our authors and we are nice to them. But at the same time I feel like the fans can be brutal and I would like to be one fo those more brutal people. Because when I do get around to finishing my novel it will be torn to shreds so this is going to be a warm up for that.

Extend the Cleavage Department

The Escapist : Zero Punctuation : Gears of War 3

Game Review: Dragon Age: Origins

I am not finished with the game but I figured now would be a good time to talk about it because the rest of the game is going to be me dying repeatedly. For those that read this blog, Britt, will know that a while back I posted a review by a game critic. Go find the post if you haven't seen the review.

I pretty much agree with everything he says. Particularly the part about creepy loving eye contact and no one saying anything about all the blood. No really I am completely covered in blood and there is no way to clean it off until I go back to camp or change locations. A man walks up to me and accuses me of being a Warden, and I persuade him against it. All the while my party and I are completely covered in gore. No one ever mentions this.

The bodies also never cease to amuse me. If you don't loot them, they don't go away...ever. I played this one area about three days ago. I went back today to speak to some one about what we need to do next. He talks about how they are rebuilding and such, while a dead body lays at his feet. No one mentions this. Another guy had bones in his house still. They were just sitting there, I had looted the body, but a pile of bones remained in the dinning room.

As much as I have been playing this game I am not moving through it very fast, because I am obsessed about making everyone love me. AI party members have reactions to things you do and say. You can give them gifts and compliments and even take time to go track down personal items for them. My boyfriend had pointed out that he never did this because he was more concerned about the army of undead that was marching across the country. But the thing is the more my party members like me the more they will do for me. Also having really specific things done is the only way to make myself Queen.

I really have taken a fun kind of pleasure in the fact that I am playing the majority of this game with the sole purpose of making myself Queen. It makes all my romance of the bastard prince way more entertaining. It also makes the fact that I try to make everyone like me feel like I am manipulating an entire country for my own power gains.

Who i the cute little monster? You are!

One other really silly thing in the game is a few of the enemies. Most of them are darkspawn, but there are these enemies found in the tunnels that make the cutest sounds. They meow and squeak  as I murder them and its adorable. They kind of look like tiny raptors.

Dragon Age II is out already and they have hinted in that game that the character from the first game has gone missing, which I am not okay with because I am going to be Queen. Also all the companions and Dragon Age II are boring. The only bright light is that nearly every party member from Dragon Age: Origins makes an appearance in II, which might be a spoiler but not really.

I am having a ton of fun playing this game. Granted I am playing on Casual which is basically they left the kid gloves on, and as a rogue which means I just press buttons at random until something dies. But I recommend it do anyone that likes LOTRs or any kind of Medieval Fantasy.

Rising To The Challange

Alright so I like video games. I think they are really cool and I love all the different kinds there are. Sadly I suck royally at them. I am a button masher of the worst degree. The second the enemy attacks my ability to remember which button does what fails and my braid issues a command; "PUSH ALL BUTTONS! ALL BUTTONS UNTIL IT IS DEAD!" As most of you know this means I do poorly all the time.

My boyfriend likes to call me out on the fact that while I talk about video games, and am interested in them I don't acctually play any video games. That was right about the time that Dragon Age came out.

Okay so Dragon Age is the standard medival action adventure kind of game. You get to place one of three races, Human, Elf and Dwarf and those standard sort of jobs Warrior, Rogue, Mage. There is some kind of orc/zombie esc horde that is attacking this country. Pretty much its right up my alley. In fact here is a really funny review of it.



So about a year ago or so I picked up the game from my boyfriend and started to play. Well actually first I played through the part with werewolves and nothing else. Then I went back and started the game over on my own xbox. I was past some of the really annoying missions when I learned I had stacked my character points wrong. I was making game play harder for myself. So I started all over again. And when I got to this really annoying part right before this dream sequence stuff that killed me about three times in the previous attempt I gave up.

Well then I made my boyfriend read a book I thought he would like that I had read. He almost liked it, but not enough to ever let me live down the fact that he completed the thing I wanted and yet I can't finish the thing that he wanted me to try.

Well being unemployed for a couple of days has seen me burn through the selection that Netflix has to offer and I have seen so many movies that there are no new releases that tickle my fancy. Also there are trailers for the second installment of Dragon Age out already and I would sort of like to know where the story goes.

The major draw back here.....My game data is on the hard drive I sold to my brother, so I will have to start from the point I left off here or play through the opening quests for a fourth time. I can't decide. I know I slaughtered all the elves in favor of the werewolves in this one but I also missed like five quests in the area. It has also come to my attention that I left my strategy guide with my brother so I might be playing with a poorly stacked character again. Argh. I think I might start a chronicle of what I do here.