I has Fury!

No Kresley Cole! NO!

I am so mad at you right now you have no idea. In Regin's book you made it seem like Lothaire was going to get with Nix. It was perfect!!! The two of them are the pawn masters for both sides of the conflicts. They are the two characters driving the plot the most.

And then all of a sudden Lothaire likes some mortal chick. Like the guy named The Enemy of Old is really going to fall for one lady that is not a complete badass or nuts. I am not happy about this. The guy has proven to be nothing short of ruthless and completely out of his mind. And you are giving him a touching love story?

At least with Nix there would be something interesting going on between him and the love interest other than "I must not because I have obligations and revenge and stuff to do. And clearly banging you on a regular basis will take away from the genocide I have been planning."

I have not been this pissed of since the creators of Avatar the Last Airbender said that under no circumstance would Katara end up with Zuko. Why not? They make a much more dynamic team. Aang is a child that has no real depth other than his need to save everyone and bring peace. Katara and Zuko at least had this weird sort of animal attraction thing going on and it would have been a great way to bring in a new era of the Fire Nation.

Do you see what you have done? I am now ranting about a cartoon show that was aimed at 12 year olds over a slip that happened between the fans and the creators. Do you understand the rage and the fury that you have unleashed because you took the easy way out?

And yes I understand that putting Nix with Lothaire would end the series effectively because that bitch is pretty much running everything at this point. But really the only stories I care about at this point have happened. I mean I don't know if I am going to keep buying any of the books any more because you gave me the two I had been dying for last year.

For the love of god get on with it already. When are we going to see the epic battles between the fractions that have been promised since book one? Huh? I mean I know this is a romance series but seriously don't create a series with a premise around the idea that in the next few years every fraction of mythical creatures is about to go into a free for all battle and not do anything with that.

That is all for now.

Book Review: Undead and Unreturnable by Mary Janice Davidson

I have seen these Queen Betsy novels at the library for a while. So the other weekend I got one of the books on tape for a car ride home. I still am unsure as to if it had a plot. I mean I think it had a plot. Books have to have plots. But I can't tell you what it is, or if the climax was the scene where some one's head got caved in.

The main character is beyond annoying and I can't figure out why the guy likes her because she seems to slightly drive him insane. Frankly I don't know why anyone puts up with her. And yes I understand that this is "chick light" but its bad. I don't know what it was but I just couldn't care about her problems. Most of them where her fault and she seems really annoying.

I got the next book for my last drive as well and ended up stopping it about three chapters in to listen to my iPod instead. She was being stupid. I have no other way to describe it. I don't know if I should be writing a review while only half awake but my point is the main girl seems to be the stupidest person in the room and yet everyone loves her. BOOO THAT.

Book Review: Archangel's Blade by Nalini Singh

Anyone else see it?

First off, the cover irks me. Not all of it, just the guy's face. There is something off in the proportions or maybe in the coloring. But the rest seems okay. When I had seen the cover online a while back I had thought it was a draft mock up of what the cover and I was really rather surprised to see that was the real cover when I got the book. I am mostly shocked because before this all of Singh's covers have been excellent. I know it's a stupid thing to get hung up on but these days book covers are practically an art form.

I am surprised as well that I think I enjoyed this book than the other Guild Hunter novels thus far. Despite previously being showed as some kind of creepy masochist Dimitri ends up being rather likable. He has some depth and shows emotions way more than Raphael ever did. Although in this book you get a better idea at what Raphael is thinking, which sorta seemed weird that he was more human in this book than the ones where he is actively in love but whatever.

The plot is fluff. The climax actually is for a whole other thing than what the two main characters have spent most of their time doing. The whole book was hunting down and finding the people that hurt the girl and then at the end some other dude is there to be a bad guy. Unrelated bad guy is strange.

I am sorta half and half on this book. We got to see some more interesting things about all the vampires and angels but the plot was a little lose.

Book Review: The Fallen Blade (Act One of the Assassini) by Jon Courtenay Grimwood

This sounded awesome. Assassins in Venice and there was a vampire and a few werewolves mixed in. It was going to be kick ass. Instead it was a lot of characters that are weird doing things for motivations we are not clued into. Like the vampire kid is in love with this one girl and she with him, but for no reason. They meet like once for all of three minutes. There is no sneaky assassin stuff but rather a lot of dull things about love and marriage and blah. Just blah. The end was awful. Leo died for like no reason what so ever. He might have been the only character I liked. Boo this book. BOOOOOO!

Book Review: A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

I am frankly a little angry at this book. I feel like I should give it a stern talking to and then send it to its room. I got the thing from the fiction section not the science fiction or romance section. And picking up this goliath I thought I was about to be introduced to another "Historian." A vast novel with intrugie and suspense and just a little bit of vampires. Instead I got..... Well I can't really tell you want I got.

I know I got a vampire that does yoga. Which is weird and I refuse to get over. I got a witch that can't use her magic but apparently is something along the lines of the fifth element. I got a third race of supernaturals that don't really appear to have power and more than anything seem to have some serious mental issues and a flare for art. Some how I got a mystery about an old book and a reference to the Templar's in a book that spent a good deal of time talking about love. The love story came out of left field in the sense that everyone but the heroine seemed to know it was coming from page one. I got a whole lot of quotes from book I haven't read and things in french.

And at the end of all of this with a book big enough to eat my math text book the story is not over. Yes we needed to uncover the mystery in the past and there simply wasn't time for that. Its not like we could have cut out the pages about horse back riding. Those were completely needed to show stuff and what not.

I get wanting to go in depth but there needs to be balance between depth and pacing. Mysteries that move slowly don't really keep people interested. Ignoring "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" because while I understand that it is popular I about swerved off the high way I was so bored when I listened to it. Every couple of pages the characters talked about how some one was going to come after them. When? Next Christmas? Are we going to get a post card noting their renewed pursuit. Then randomly big bursts of action and right back to nothing but tea.

Can you poision yourself with tea? Or coffee? Dragon Tattoo was nothing but coffee this is nothing but tea. Have a soda for god-sake people.

The thing is, beneath all this mush there is a kind of cool story. It does have some really stupid moments but I really want to know what is in that Alchemy book, which is what I was promised by the book flap. I want to know about the missing pages and what not, but after 592 pages nothing has even been theorized outside a few passing comments. This is what they put on the cover and yet nearly the whole bloody thing is about Mathew and Diana not being allowed to be together because they are a difference species. Every now and then its about how Diana is the fifth element but can't do anything with her magical space powers.

The book ends with the love birds going back in time to finds Diana some witches to teach her to use her powers and maybe while they are at it find the old book. But that seems to be the second thing on their mind. The entire second half of the book barely mentions the book.

There are good moment, good ideas hidden in this mass. I still am not sure if they make it all worth it.

And You Lost Me

Right now I am trying to work my way through A Discovery of Witches, and I just found something that makes me want to beat the author.

Men don't do yoga. Athletes and health nuts do yoga. But if you are trying to give me this giant book and say that it is not a romance book than maybe you should think about not making your vampire hero perfect in too many ways. Oh he has a short temper, whatever.

I am just a little crazy because people always try to tell me to read real fiction books and not romance because they are written better. But here once again we have a girl that appears to be a bit of a mess, at least to herself because apparently everyone else is in aw of her; and a near perfect dashing rich hero. *groan.*
I am going to be perfectly honest, if you really don't put a whole lot of effort into your appearance and you have low self esteem, people pick up on that. Frankly the dashing guy isn't going to walk up to the girl with unbrushed hair who  slouches and doesn't make eye contact. This is a fact of life. Body language reflects self esteem. I am sick to death of these mousy women. Those of us that have a back bone would like to say that you are doing nothing for the social understanding of our gender.

Modern books are starting to sicken me. I miss Elizabeth Bennett.

Book Review: A Hunger Like No Other by Kresley Cole

After going back and reading all the Cole books again I figured I would do a brief sum up of how I feel about each. Hunger is the first full length book int he series, the first installment of the series is a short story. Emma is half valkyrie half vampire and a timid little thing when the book starts. Lachlain is pretty much half out of his mind after being trapped for years in a pit of fire.

This book has the most romance to the overall plot in that there is little outside plot. Its the establishing book for he series and introduces many characters but not much else. The vampire threat is created and then dealt with. We get glimpses of other creatures and characters for later stories. Two of the most recent stories were hinted at in this book. This book was also one of the establishers in Cole's style of making me work for the dirty bits, she likes to make me wait as long as possible.

This was not my favorite book but I enjoyed the characters that I met along the way. Also I loved the way werewolves were portrayed so I was hooked on the series from then.

Book Review: Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole

Alright I have been putting off reviewing this book for about a week now and I am caving and going to talk about it. This is the book I was waiting the the entire series for, and at the same time was hoping it would never happen.

See the main character of this books is Regin and she is epic. Bitch is crazy, and crazy awesome. She is perhaps one of the silliest characters besides the completely insane Nix in this series. She pulls pranks and makes rude comments all the time. Regin has made and appearance in every book up to this point as either a bother or a help. She does constant pranks and makes the demons eat weird things. I was excited for the possibility of an entire book dedicated to this spitfire, and terrified that she might be ruined.

Then there was the guy. So in the book before this all these characters get kidnapped and tortured by this crazed organization. I got rather testy that some one was hurting my precious characters. I spent half the book going, "I hate you Declan Chase. I hate you. Hate, hate, hate. Loath entirely!" He was a big meanie. He was mean to Carrow and her poor defenseless niece. I mean who is mean to twelve year olds? He was evil and I hated him. Not to mention that he had Regin cut up, or so we thought.

I pretty much threw a hissy fit when I saw that he would be the lead for Regin's book. I for real got upset about this development because I did not want to feel sympathy or like some one I had already spent so much time hating. Because I knew it was coming, some how I was going to be forced to love him and I didn't want to. Also I got his description totally messed up in my mind and was super confused.

Anyway the story goes a little something like this. Back in the day Regin met this berserker Aidan and the two of them kind of had a thing. But he got killed before he could become immortal. At which point he got reincarnated a bunch of times only to die once he finds Regin again. The last book pretty much told us that Regin got kidnapped by The Order and trapped on the creepy island. Also in the last book after getting operated on she sorta yelled that Declan was Aidan and that she wanted him stomped on.

I will give in and say that I liked this book. I really did. It was super hard for me to like Declan but I was brought around eventually. Regin was not as crazy as always but she wasn't really in situations that allowed for a lot of trash talking, and yet it still was there. This was perhaps one of the more interesting back stories between the characters. It played into the story pretty well and kept things interesting.

The introduction of some new characters kept things light and playful because god knows that Declan didn't help that situation. That man was a huge downer, but really works out with Regin in the end. I like more characters, because it means more books. And no author I like is allowed to ever stop writing.

The big news of this book is the hints of Nix and Lothaire are like a fated pair. Which pretty much set off a fan girly rampage the likes of which the world has never seen. I mean epic! So epic.

And then for like ten minutes I was terrified that the series was coming to an end until I picked up the series again and found that there were in fact a lot of characters still hanging out there for the taking. So its cool.

But yeah. Good book, great series. I demand more yesterday.

Book Review: Eat Prey Love by Kerrelyn Sparks

Before I even start talking about the book I have to first address the name. When I first saw the name this was my reactions "Pahahahaha" (the P is there to let you know I made this sorta strange noise before I began to laugh.) after that I made that noise that drummers make when they tell puns or jokes. You know its sorta 'dadum tish.'

Okay so back to the book bit. This book is part of a series that Sparks writes and I haven't read them in a while so when I picked up the book there was about four minutes of "who the f*** is this? wait what? who's talking?" After awhile I got my bearings because after the birthday party was over the extreme number of old characters went down to hardly anything so that was better. But seriously talking about nearly every old character in the first twenty pages or so really confuses me.

So this book is about Carlos Panterra who is a were-panther and apparently in one of the previous books he pretended to be gay at some point but I didn't remember that so when they had this big scene for him to hash out that he was straight my reaction was: Well yeah I read the back. Anyway his love interest is Caitlyn Whelan who is the younger sister of the girl who had the very first book, and whose family is the central connector of all the books. So um yes.

We get the same song and dance of taking a human and trying to explain to them that vampires and shapeshifters are real and then we get Carlos trying to resist his desire for Caitlyn because he needs to find a were-panther to save his species. Also Caitlyn is magical and can understand any language so there is that part put in but seeing as nothing is ever written in another language its mostly a plot device for the travel part later, and when they mentioned that I knew there was going to be travel.

I feel like the romance as a little forced, and not because of the time constraints like I normally do. I think it was rushed because I was near page 300 and there had been no sex. Sure there had been some heavy making out but that was few and far between. On the other hand the plot was really on top. I mean I was with it and interested and I get the feeling that so was the author. I think Sparks might have gotten to about page 250 and gone "oh crap I forgot about the romance bit."

One other thing, I can't take the name Carlos seriously after seeing The Hangover. I mean really. I was trying really hard to not laugh.

Anyway the book was a good read and progresses the on going plot arc by adding a new bad guy to contend with and introducing a few new male characters for future books. But really the story did little to the overall bad guy and his plot to destroy us all. I get the feeling the new bad guy is just here to kill time so we have more males to write about, because if they catch the main bad guy before everyone has a book the series will lose its spark.

I  vote library unless you already have a collection going for this series.

Book Review: Dark Secret by Christine Feehan

This is one of those authors I see all the time. I mean I see her books every single time I go the book store. I have always semi considered reading the books for a while but mostly I had other authors to be more interested in. Then I moved and was left with a library that had little to no romance novel selection.

I literally sat down and pulled out books one by one until I could find something where the back of the book didn't revolt me. I grabbed this one because I was like "sure, three hours time to give up." So this book there vampires, that aren't really vampires and they hunt the ones that are really vampires. But they lose emotions over time and get closer and closer to turning into vampires. The trick was it didn't but the word vampire on the back so I was tricked. That's been happening recently.

Anyway we have a woman who is really determined to take care of her family and her ranch. I like her, rather a bit actually a few times there she seems like she is going to punch the guy out and I want her to. The guy is stupid and one sided and I hates him. The entire book he does stuff against the girls will, and she sorta gets pissed but he get horny and she sorta puts up with it. She is pissed the whole book and then right before the end when he almost dies she suddenly loves him, and its not that she was upset that he almost technically raped her she was just afraid to love him.

There is something about mind control and evil vampires and turning against the will of the woman. There is some pretty cool sex scenes, which would almost redeem it but the story is rather retarded.

*bangs head against table.

What was I talking about? Wait was I doing a book review? Oh this lady? She has a lot of books out, right? So how is this so bad? Dear God why does this keep happening! I used to love this other author back when she started writing but by the 10th book I dropped the series for the sole fact that they sucked, and that every book made less and less sense. And yet they are popular and what not. argh.

Books like this are why I named the blog as such. Because I finish reading things like this book and I say that aloud, and then my boyfriend rolls over and tells me that I need to stop staying up to read a book I thought was stupid a third of the way in. He is right of course but I keep reading.

On top of all of that the book cover freaks me out. That model is creepy, look at it for about a minute and you will be fully scared of him.

The Vampire and the Virgin by Kerrelyn Sparks

There is this moments that happens in a lot of fantasy romance novels, where a heroine is suddenly told that they handsome man she just met is a vampire/werewolf/zombie/mummy/goat/a car/the spawn of Satan/etc. At this point he will say that she has to trust him, even though they just met three days ago, she needs to trust him because they are meant for each other. I normally gag or roll my eyes for a few minutes before i go on reading.

In the past Sparks has been one of the authors that has been notorious for these moments. Not this time ladies. This time the characters have a long distance skype relationship for several months. Also the leading female has this creepy stalker serial killer.

But really other than that this is a formulaic book. Sparks has a formula and she sticks to it. Girl is doing somethings, girl bumps into guy. Guy is vampire. (only two books of the entire series have not done this) They have passionate encounters. Girl notices she can only meet guy at night/he has no reflection/drinking of the fake blood. She has minor freak out. He explains to a point. She is weary. Evil vampires attempt to kill her/him/them/others. They bound deeper. In the next book they have a wedding.

I was not expecting anything new and i didn't really get it. The only difference is because there is a few months that are skimmed over when the girl finds out that her beau is a vampire she doesn't completely flip and takes the whole "trust me" better because she knows him. Besides this one change i am pretty much underwhelmed.