Quote of the day

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.


I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the martian in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

-Neil Gaiman, American Gods


I have been feeling a bit out of sorts recently and it seems that once again the only solution is Gaiman. This man is my prophet.

Graphic Novels on E-readers

Why hasn't this happened yet? I mean really? Graphic novels are on the internet everywhere. I can find all the comics I read online some place. So why do I still have to pay so much if I want to purchase one? They are normally four to five dollars more than a regular book. I understand that the giant painted American kind would not translate they are too large and detailed, but the thousands of manga books already would fit on the e-reader screen.

This needs to be the next thing that e-reader companies can give us. The market for manga novels is huge, go into any Barnes and Noble or Borders and check.  Both have entire sections dedicated to these books. In fact most Borders even carry snacks and merchandise attached to some of the comics. This could open up the e-reader market even more so. The page dimensions are the right size and a zoom in function doesn't seem like a huge leap from larger font.

This could happen. This should happen. I want to be able to buy my manga on my Nook the same way I buy books. Tapping into this fan base could create millions in revenue. Bleach and Naruto alone could make this a viable option. We are talking about putting e-readers in the hands of every person going to Comic-Con.

Am I the only one that see this?

Quote of the day

"Have you ever fought an opponent you had no defense against? Like a fire breather or an acid spitter?"

"Once I faced a female with diamond skin," Nix said breathlessly. "I was transfixed - even as she was choking the life out of me."

"Really?"

"No, I saw that character on X-Men. I just wanted to commiserate. Alas, I have no weaknesses."

-Kresley Cole, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Quote from my weekend snowboarding

"Why must the small children always stop right at the point where its tricky to not plow into them."

Book Review: Ecstasy In Darkness by Gena Showalter

Its interesting how reading a series out of order can show the growth of a writer. The Alien Huntress series was one of the first ones that Showalter put out there, but this book was published this past year. She has been slowly taking her time juggling several series and her growth shows.

The last book I didn't feel the characters. Neither of them seemed that real to me. This book has a huge jump in the interest. Every character has more character too them. The dialogue has a more natural feel and sound more like stuff I would say to my friends. Also the plot is way more interesting, I am much more intrigued by a race of disease ridden aliens trying to wipe us out. Well wipe out everyone, because they have to spread the disease to live. Which really seems like an interesting idea. I desperately want to know more about this but Showalter is making me work for it.

The main male for this book is Victor McKell who was a bad-ass vampire in the last book. After the vampire king found out he didn't kill Bride he got kicked out of the underground world. Seeing as this series goes with the whole alien thing, vampires are really aliens that made it to earth a long time before the other aliens came knocking.  Remember the disease aliens? Well they found out that Bride's blood stops the disease so they want to talk to McKell. So the alien investigation forces send Ava and Noelle to bring him in, and these two pretty much are the coolest girls ever. Ava is the lead in this book.

So Ava and McKell get the hots for each other and in the mean time they are trying to a) figure out more about vampires that live above ground and b) stop the queen of the disease aliens from destroying everything c) deal with the mating bond thing d) figure out what these magical door ways that follow McKell are about. The answers are the following. A) there are lots and they have to drain a human dry to go out in the sunlight. B) McKell's daddy has some neat stuff that kinda makes the mystery  less epic. C) They like it but Ava doesn't want to be a vampire just yet, well maybe. D) McKell's daddy comes from an alternate reality and has magic doorways.

Yeah that last bit comes in at the eleventh hour and just sorta ends the tension. I was horribly worried there for a while about the disease aliens and what was going to happen. I mean I was on the edge of my seat, and then daddy is like "Calm down, I got this!" and there goes the tension. The big bad evil woman is not so scary when the time traveling vampire just sends her away because he doesn't like that its pissing his son off.

On the other hand Ava and Noelle make me crazy happy. They have that trash talk to your best friend thing down. I loved it. Best friend trash talk is the best kind. They make it very realistic, although they take it a little too far at times. They suffer from serious ADD in a couple scenes. It sounds so much like my friends and I when we get in rants. I loves me some silly rants.

This book has convinced me that I need to go back and read the rest of the series.

Things I Learned Today

You can get Poison Ivy in the winter. The sap is active all year round, and leather on your snowboarding gloves can pick it up when you crash into the bushes to avoid hitting a pack of ski school kids.

So yeah I have a rash. Book reviews to come later today.

Quote from my weekend snowboarding

"The more I watch Disney channel the more questionably gay all the male characters are."

Quote of the day

"So what'd the girls say when you asked about the carnage?"

"Ava said her hand accidentally slipped and made contact with her guy's nose. I said Repeatedly? And she said, 'Uh, yeah. I'm really clumsy.' And Noelle said her guy was trying to escape, so she took him down like we'd trained her. And oh, we shouldn't worry about the gaping wound in his neck because he probably had that before he entered the bar."


-Gena Showalter, Ecstasy In Darkness

New Page

New page up about my addiction to cartoons. I thought it was time because I am about to tear Death Note (the anime) into tiny pieces, and then burn them.  So yeah. That's whats up.

I am Number Four (Peroxide)

You two are cool, but...

These trailers for I am Number Four keep playing. And while I am intrigued by the fact that they got Justified guy to play the baby sitter I have noticed something. Besides Justified baby sitter the other main characters are all blond. I can't not see this. I don't know why but the fact that there are no other hair colors shown on the trailers sticks out to me.

I even went and looked it up, but Number Six is supposed to be Mediterranean. True the leads are both blond in the book, but the other character was supposed to have drak skin and dark eyes. Is Micheal Bay cranky because he had to fire Megan Fox from Transformers and now will only employ blonds? (the replacement in Transformers is blond, fyi)

...You should have dark hair missy.

I get that there are blonds out in the world but the fact is that most days I don't spot that many, so when they cluster together it sticks out in my mind.

Also my boyfriend would like to point out that the "look at my hands after I do something awesome" is a horrible shot and needs to be removed from movies. He is boycotting this movie simply because they include that shot in every trailer.

Book Review: Dark of the Moon by Susan Krinard

This one was crappy. The guy was an ass the entire time and she still loved him. He even went into super asshole mode and still she didn't run away. Boo domestic abuse victims. This should have been good, mobster vampires in the 20s.

Book Review: To Catch a Wolf by Susan Krinard

The lead is a cripple. There I said it. The lead female of this story is a cripple, until about a hundred pages from the end. But yeah. I was pretty impressed. I have to say that pulling the cripple card out of the hat was not something I was expecting, and I can pretty much call everything.

This is a period piece and takes place in the late 1800s in Denver. Athena is a lady of the town, but is confined to her chair after an accident as a child placed here there. Morgan is a werewolf that spent time in prison and then a long time as the wolf in the woods. Morgan then ended up in a traveling circus. They meet, there are class issues, and stupidity.

I was annoyed by this story. Mostly because it seems like it should have been shorter. The story rushes towards conflict, then back tracks, then makes new conflict, then side steps. I stayed up late reading this book because I figured that eventually it would slow down and then finish, but it didn't. I just read another of Krinard's books and I am beginning to think that she gave herself a page number goal and kept writing until she hit it. The characters are simply dragged through so much is so little time.

I though I was going to like this author because she does period werewolf pieces but the length and junk in the books are not acceptable.

Archer Quote of the day

Krieger: So, uh have you ever thought about having a baby?
Cheryl: Sometimes I think about adopting a little baby so I could abandon it at a mall.
Krieger: That answers my follow up question.

Book Review: Enslave Me Sweetly by Gena Showalter

The interesting thing about this book was the single character point of view. That might sound like a weird thing to say because books have different points of view. But the simple fact is that most romance novels alternate between the points of view of both lead characters. This style works best in romances because it gives the reader both sides of the story. I was also thrown off because I know that in the same series Showalter does you the alternating point of view. Anyway the point is it threw me off.

This book is part of the Alien Huntress series. In this series it is the future, there are lots of aliens on planet earth, and there were some wars. I am not clear because this is only the second full length book I have read from the series. Eden the main lead for this book is an alien. She is a Raka which have golden hair, skin and eyes. I mean really their skin looks like gold. Playing opposite of her is Agent Lucius. (I am really getting annoyed with that name btw.)

They are trying to spot an interplanetary sex slave ring. I sorta forget the rest. I am not saying its bad. But it kind of didn't make an impact on me. Also I am trying to work out recently and my ability to read is going down a bit. I just wasn't moved by either character. They weren't bland but they just weren't developed enough for me to have an opinion. By the climax I was still mostly unattached to either character.

I do really like the cover. So there is that.

Quote of the day

The goggles do nothing!

Valid Point of the Day

None of this should be happening.

Vampires should have no sex drive. It is not important for them to reproduce sexually. Once the change to vampire is made they would not have those urges. The biochemistry to make them horny would be gone. Don't believe me, ask Bill Nye. He talked about sex drive in his show Eye of Nye. We have a sex drive to reproduce. No new vampires are being made by vampire sex. The brain chemicals are no longer being made.

Discuss.

P.s. we are going with the old school vampires, not this genetic crap I see in books these days.

Science Put Down.

Your mom is absolute zero!

-This has been Science Put Downs My Boyfriend Says

Manga I have been reading

So after that last manga I read and then that stupid book I went back to more manga. Let me just say I am blowing through these crazy fast. Here are a couple that I have read in the past few days. Keep in mind that I have no ability to stop this so book review might not come back until I read everything on this website. Just saying, be prepared for more of this.

Shinobi Life is the one I just finished (what is done). I really like this one. There are ninjas and time travel and ninjas. Also some super cute romance as well. Basically there are these portals to the past and the future and a ninja falls through it into the present. But then interesting things happen. Which I will not tell you about because attempting to explain it without reading will lead to exploding brains. But basically its epic. There is suspense and ninjas and love and time travel. Also this is the good kind of time travel where there are consequences and stuff. It starts off really slow and then suddenly it just takes off. One minute I thought I was just going to be reading a romance with a twist and then all of a sudden all the characters are time traveling. Then there are some waring ninjas and it causes problems. The girl's dad is a ninja. Just Read it!

I hate you art!

Love in the Mask makes me want to punch something. First of all the art work is this annoying style where everyone has really over done eyes and hair. I can't really explain it. Anyway the description sounded cool. This orphan is picked up by a wealthy family and raised as a boy to be a body gaurd, but its a girl. They do this for some kind of political reason that wasn't explained, or if it was I skipped the page. Anyway the story starts when the girl is little and still and orphan. Then it jumps ahead like six years. Suddenly there is a whole new bunch of characters that are introduced and then killed off. I don't know who they are because I was annoyed so I was skimming but still reading. Then it skips to the high school time for all the main characters, of which there are seven. I blame the fact that the story is Korean. I don't know why but the Korean stories always go willynilly when it comes to the cast. Also tons of gang violence. So I gave up and moved on.

Bride of the Water God seemed like a great manga. I can't tell you because half of the pages are either missing or just not there. I swear so many parts of the story don't make sense. There are flash forwards and backs at random times. The art work is crazy beautiful but I spent half the time confused. The basic story is that a girl is sacrificed to end a drought. But rather than die she does end up in the magical kingdom where the gods live. The only issue is that the water god appears to be a child and she is supposed to be his bride. But what she doesn't know is that at night he turns into his true self who is a rather handsome man. They try to deal with things especially because she is human means the other gods hate her and try to get rid of her often.

She is kickass.

Hana No Kishi had the same problem. But this one I was actually interested in. This one a girl becomes a body guard for another rich girl because her brother was killed in the line of duty. I happen to really enjoy the stories where a girl dresses as a man. I find it fulfilling to see a woman succeed in the mans world. But also I just love the Mulan legend and because of that legend these cross dressing stories are everywhere in manga. It story has this really cool idea about Knights and duels and I loves it, when I can figure out what is going on. Several of the chapters had pages that were out of order of simply missing. I suggest this one if you can find it in good condition.

I read like six more but these were the only ones I felt like talking about tonight.

New Page

New page about movies and television now up. It will be edited more in the future. I just wanted something up while I try and create what I am currently calling "The Wall of Awful."

Redecorating

Due to the fact that I have gotten away from just reviewing books and now talk more about movies and other media as well I am doing some fixing up around here. As soon as I figure out how to get an image drawn and scanned there will be a new page as well.


Also after some review of my posts I am trying to figure out if I need to talk more about the characters and actual plot of books. My style of reviewing comes from a video game critic called Zero Punctuation. While I am no where near as popular or crude as him I hope to one day be close. So do I need to include real information?

And is the orange hurting anyone's eyes? Mom de boyfriend insists that old people cant read it. I want proof first.

Anyway who wants to see what me attempting art would look like??

A Problem with Time Travel

I didn't even mention hygiene! AH!

Are we really expected to accept that women from modern day are just cool with no indoor plumbing and no tampons. Also the lack of daily showers. I get that he is hot and all but are you really going to sleep with a guy that hasn't properly bathed in months? That's what we are going with here. Because the time period we are talking about here is smack dab during the time when they though water was evil and taking a bath would let demons in, so no bathing in sight.

Also why are periods never addressed? I get they aren't sexy but we get one every month. Its not like they go away any time except pregnancy and old age. What did they even do for periods back then? In the 1500s what did they do? I am pretty sure you stuffed rags between your legs and just dealt with it. That is so gross I can't even imagine. So yeah all these characters are supposedly totally cool about never getting tampons again.

What about Advil? Or vaccines? Am I really to assume that this one guy is so hot you are okay living in a world where there are not treatments for some pretty major disease. No chemo if you get cancer, not that you would know anyway until the tumor is the side of a Volkswagen. No pain killers that are not also something a hippie would take to get high. No reliable tooth paste. No toilet paper. No hand soap.

Not buying it. I am just saying. I think I can live without whatever this guy is selling. Sure he might be super hot but I am sure I can find a very good looking guy in the 21st century that has gotten all his shots and doesn't have lice. LICE!

Book Review: Dark Seduction by Brenda Joyce

I have serious issues with this book. Massive major issues. I am not even half way through and I don't think I will finish it. First lets start with the plot or what can laughingly be called the plot. This book is in that same series as before about the Highlanders that can time travel. At the beginning we meet Claire who own a books store in modern day New York and is kind of kick ass. Her mother was murdered and so was her cousin and she takes her safety very serious. She owns fire arms and several tasers, I tell you this so stuff later will confuse you the way it does me.

So a creepy lady shows up breaks down her door and knocks her out because she is searching for a page from a book. When Claire wakes up there is a massive Highlander that comes to look for the page too. But rather than freak out like she did with the lady she just sorta lets him in. Keep in mind we know that she has two family members that were clearly killed by men. Yeah so come on in scary guy. Then when shit hits the fan she  puts on a mini skirt, which I think is bull because we all know you put pants on if there is any chance of danger because they are harder to get off and keep you covered.

Well they go back in time and we get to the part that really super pisses me off. Claire is now more bipolar than my mother at this point in time in the book. One second she demands to be taken seriously and then the next she meekly accepts that he must be right because he is hot. Here is how the scenes have been going so far.

Claire: I need to learn to fight to defend my self and hunt for my mother's murder. (forget about the cousin apparently.)
Malcom: Nay you are my woman and I will protect you so shut up. (lots of broken english to show the readers that he has an accent which makes me want to punch the author)
Claire: You are right I am a coward. (No really she says this several times right after having long speeches about how in the modern day women are equal to men in many respects.)

(CORRESPONDING FACE GOES WITH CORRESPONDING EMOTION!)

What super pisses me off is that Claire never brings up the best argument for her side. That he cannot be with her every moment of every day and its a good idea if she have some knowledge of how to use a weapon. Especially because twice in the book so far Malcolm has been busying either fighting or taking a nap when some one has attacked Claire. Yet they both seem to forget this fact and spend hours fighting about how she is under his protection and he wont let anything happen to her. Well you did asshole, she was nearly strangled two chapters ago while you took a snooze so shut your face!!!!

I was also just reading a scene where Malcolm and his half brother are having a conversation. Claire says something. Malcolm gives her a glare and suddenly she thinks "women have no place to speak here. I will wait till later." I shit you not. She just accepts that. Yeah that makes sense. A women that was raised toady would totally be cool being dismissed by the guy she is "falling in love with" because he thinks she has no place to speak.

As the author from Reasoning with Vampires would say; we are entering some serious psychological fuckery here kids.

I have another book from this series sitting in my room and I am scared to pick it up because the female lead is kick as in another book. She carried weapons and all sorts of stuff. She gave a guy a round house kick. If she crumples because of one really good fucking I am going to find Brenda Joyce and smack her into next Sunday.

Must Read

So I am not really one to plug other blogs because I don't read them. But this particular blog makes my day, hell it makes every day.

Reasoning with Vampires

It rips Twilight a new one.

Archer Quotes of the day

Pam: Come on Ms. Archer! You've been in there ten hours, meet us half way and Krieger will let you out of there.
Krieger: Or else he'll crank up the heat again.
Cheryl: I love... that you know how to do that.
Krieger: And I love that I have an erection, that didn't involve homeless people.

 Charles: Oh my god, you like, sneeze glitter!

 Woodhouse: I'm afraid the lemur got into the pudding cups.
Archer: Yeah, like I told you he would, you idiot.

Lana: A non-circumcised Jewish guy, that's not weird to you?
Archer: No. Why would... I mean, I'm not Jewish, and I am circumcised so it can happen the other-
Lana: It doesn't work like that.
Archer: Lana come on. I think we both know it works fine.
Lana: Aw, come on! Not your d**k, dumb ass!


I spent half an hour yesterday talking about why this show is awesome so I had to put some quotes up to make up for my lack of post yesterday. Brittney is going to give me internet glares for completely failing at this post a day thing.