Not Okay With This

I was talking to my friend Will about some of my recent posts and the subject of the Mortal Instrument series came up. This scum has some how become popular. If we want to talk about bad writing and overly formulaic we can just point at this series and end the conversation.

The main character is retarded. I mean who misses the fact that their mother has tiny scars all over them. How do you miss that? She has the predictably in love with her male best friend. And then she runs into a hot guy and his friends in a club, for people under 18. Which I would like to say there is no way that would be a cool place to be. They tried that in my town for a while. Teenagers are not good at being smooth or hip. They need to be kept in their little boxes and not let out into the real world until they can function like a person.

Anyway the story is also stupid silly. Guess what their is a world that none of us know about, and the hot guy is an elite warrior. Turns out main character is one of them and her mom was erasing her memories or something. I don't care. The gross part that made these books awful is the sustained idea that main character lady and hot guy might be siblings. They drag it out for a long time. The entire time they are doing heavy breathing and hot pants dance at each other. I mean I get that Japanese comics have these creepy stories about brother sister love but I was unaware it had come to this side of the Ocean. I mean really this is what the author came up with as a reason the main characters couldn't be together. Seriously? I don't care how hot the guy is, if you tell me he is my brother I am going to find other forums of entertainment.

Of course they are not siblings but it took three books of awful to straighten that out. You might ask why I read all three books if they were so bad, because I was depressed at the time and had nothing better to do. Another horror of the story is that has some steampunk influences, to which I have to say "stay away from my grene!"

Also there is one main character that is gay and dating a much older guy and they make a huge fuss about it. Like the entire cast of characters spend all their time trying to ignore or not talk about this fact but they all think about. So what, gays can't have trophy boyfriends? I do believe they can. I think this was just included so there would be a diversity character. It was an attempt at depth.

The villain basically wants to kill everything that isn't human or an elite warrior. There is no good reason for that other than a superiority complex. The books end with a fight coming down to drawing in the sand, not kidding. And then stupid girl asks for hot guy to come back to life from and angel. The angel even points out that she could ask for anything, world peace, and end to disease, or legalize pot (I put that in there) but no she picks her boyfriend. Seriously this is why we need to sterilize teenagers.

Anyway the main point of this over all rant is they want to make it into a movie. I say no!! No movie. Also they want to use blondie from Beastly and I think he doesn't need to be famous.

This is once again why I hate Twilight because it has set these low standards for what the media thinks it can feed teenage girls. Personally I like my fantasy to come with a brain. But no! Now there are books by the thousands about a girl that is in love with a supernatural boy, or she is the supernatural and he is normal. It doesn't matter. They are being pushed out there to flood the market.

I hates them.

Valid Point of the Day

None of this should be happening.

Vampires should have no sex drive. It is not important for them to reproduce sexually. Once the change to vampire is made they would not have those urges. The biochemistry to make them horny would be gone. Don't believe me, ask Bill Nye. He talked about sex drive in his show Eye of Nye. We have a sex drive to reproduce. No new vampires are being made by vampire sex. The brain chemicals are no longer being made.

Discuss.

P.s. we are going with the old school vampires, not this genetic crap I see in books these days.

Must Read

So I am not really one to plug other blogs because I don't read them. But this particular blog makes my day, hell it makes every day.

Reasoning with Vampires

It rips Twilight a new one.

Book Review: Firelight by Sophie Jordan

Sigh, do I have to review this book? Oh fine. So yeah I picked this one up because it was being hyped as a good one at the book stores. I should have ignored it. I don't know why I am so easily swayed by cool looking covers.

I finished this book in a few hours. I wasn't even really concerned about the main character by the time it was over. This book rings greatly of Twilight. Granted the main character has a bit more depth, but only a bit. She basically hates that her mother moved her, resents the fact that her mother and sister want to suppress her dragon nature and find dealing with normal humans hard to understand. I liked her a bit more than I did stupid f***ing Bella, because I too did not enjoy moving, had issues with my mother trying to assimilate me and feel annoyed by most people. So that was okay.... I guess.

But to counter balance that there was that love at first sight bull crap. I hate that more than life. (I don't really hate life if you are reading this Lauren, I just like the expression.) I want to punch every author that does that. I might make it my life goal.

I am not even going to discuss the plot in detail because as far as I can tell there isn't one. (Just like the first Twilight.) The entire book was establishing the main character and how shitty she has things. Then a boy comes in for a bit and he is hot and they sorta try to resist it, which only serves to anger me. Then there is a fight at the last eight pages of the book and then it ends. I shit you not.

The real reason I groan and moan about this book is because it ends in a way that tells you there are more coming. Also because when I googled it there was this video from a new broadcast that said "Is Firelight the new Twilight?" To which I have to say: Not While I'm Breathing! No seriously if this shit happens again I am going to go Super Saiyan on their asses.

Final Verdict: Don't Read, Don't Buy, Punch anyone you see reading it. I mean it. I will allow for hooks rather than a straight face punch but they better do damage.

Book Review: Insatiable by Meg Cabot

So over the last couple of weeks I have been posting my book reviews on Wednesday. Mostly this has to do with my general lack of other things to do on Wednesday night. So from now on I am going to try and post a book review every Wednesday.

This week I am reviewing Insatiable by Meg Cabot. The book is Cabot's attempt at doing a "sequel" (according to her website) to Dracula. I am not really sure that is what the book ends up as. The story follows Meena Harper, a young woman who works as a dialogue writer for a popular soap opera. Meena also has the psychic ability to tell when and how people she meets are going to die and spend a good deal of time trying to warn off friends and family from possible doom.

Then there is Lucien, Dracula's son and charming vampire who is captivated by Meena and wants to run away with her. There is also Alaric Wolf who is a member of the Palatine Gaurd who is sworn to kill vampires and follows Meena to get to Lucien.

I still cant figure out if this book was sarcastic of serious. One scene she is clearly making fun of Twilight that its pretty much a case of copy right infringement. But then the first half of the book Meena spends the entire time talking about how stupid this obsession with vampires is and how stupid they are as a species. All of that I was on board for but then things switched up a bit. Suddenly I wanted to stab Meena for being exactly the kind of stupid woman she had made fun of earlier.


Spoiler Warning: If you are interested in reading this book stop now. If not this is a big part of the review.


The one thing that made the second half of the book tolerable at all is that Meena tells Lucien no. At the end of the book when he wants to sweep her away from everything she knows and loves and turn her into a vampire she says no to him and leaves. I liked that part a whole lot. As some one who has dropped everything to live with her man I can say that just dealing with that one person will make you crazy. Any real person would go nuts. So I respect Cabot for having Meena know that she needs to be a full person to be happy and that is not going to happen if she lets Lucien "take care of her." But everything before that was stupid.

Cabot is one of those writers you have to really love to enjoy this book at all. She isnt particularly original but her books are always funny. On the other hand she has two types of heroines that she writes, one is a kick ass take no shit kind of girl, and the other is wimpy and self doubting and loathing. Meena was mostly the second.

I got the book on tape and that might have been one of the big draw backs for me. I tend to skim pages about descriptions or when the female lead gets mushy (its the only way i was able to read Twilight without burning the damn thing) so the fact that i had to hear every word made me a bit crazy. I really didnt need to hear about Lucien's sad eyes as many times as I did.

Alaric Wolf was the only character I really liked because he was always who he was supposed to be. Lucien and Meena flip and flop as to who their character act but Alaric is pretty much hard headed and I love him for it.

Final rating: Don't read it, its not worth the time. Unless you are a die hard Cabot fan and want to see this for giggles. I would suggest picking up her Mediator series, its way better story telling and the characters are more believable.