Not Okay With This

I was talking to my friend Will about some of my recent posts and the subject of the Mortal Instrument series came up. This scum has some how become popular. If we want to talk about bad writing and overly formulaic we can just point at this series and end the conversation.

The main character is retarded. I mean who misses the fact that their mother has tiny scars all over them. How do you miss that? She has the predictably in love with her male best friend. And then she runs into a hot guy and his friends in a club, for people under 18. Which I would like to say there is no way that would be a cool place to be. They tried that in my town for a while. Teenagers are not good at being smooth or hip. They need to be kept in their little boxes and not let out into the real world until they can function like a person.

Anyway the story is also stupid silly. Guess what their is a world that none of us know about, and the hot guy is an elite warrior. Turns out main character is one of them and her mom was erasing her memories or something. I don't care. The gross part that made these books awful is the sustained idea that main character lady and hot guy might be siblings. They drag it out for a long time. The entire time they are doing heavy breathing and hot pants dance at each other. I mean I get that Japanese comics have these creepy stories about brother sister love but I was unaware it had come to this side of the Ocean. I mean really this is what the author came up with as a reason the main characters couldn't be together. Seriously? I don't care how hot the guy is, if you tell me he is my brother I am going to find other forums of entertainment.

Of course they are not siblings but it took three books of awful to straighten that out. You might ask why I read all three books if they were so bad, because I was depressed at the time and had nothing better to do. Another horror of the story is that has some steampunk influences, to which I have to say "stay away from my grene!"

Also there is one main character that is gay and dating a much older guy and they make a huge fuss about it. Like the entire cast of characters spend all their time trying to ignore or not talk about this fact but they all think about. So what, gays can't have trophy boyfriends? I do believe they can. I think this was just included so there would be a diversity character. It was an attempt at depth.

The villain basically wants to kill everything that isn't human or an elite warrior. There is no good reason for that other than a superiority complex. The books end with a fight coming down to drawing in the sand, not kidding. And then stupid girl asks for hot guy to come back to life from and angel. The angel even points out that she could ask for anything, world peace, and end to disease, or legalize pot (I put that in there) but no she picks her boyfriend. Seriously this is why we need to sterilize teenagers.

Anyway the main point of this over all rant is they want to make it into a movie. I say no!! No movie. Also they want to use blondie from Beastly and I think he doesn't need to be famous.

This is once again why I hate Twilight because it has set these low standards for what the media thinks it can feed teenage girls. Personally I like my fantasy to come with a brain. But no! Now there are books by the thousands about a girl that is in love with a supernatural boy, or she is the supernatural and he is normal. It doesn't matter. They are being pushed out there to flood the market.

I hates them.

Book Review: Zombies vs Unicorns

I haven't really finished this book. I can't. It saddens me. Let me explain.

This book started when two writers began an argument about which was better zombies or unicorns. It turned into this big deal so they got other authors together (including Scott Westerfeld, Naomi Novik, Meg Cabot, Cassandra Clare and Garth Nix) to create an anthology were authors took sides and created this book. I saw part of the blog argument and then picked up the book at the library the other day. I mostly got it for my boyfriend because he loves zombies and when he saw the title he seemed interested.

I started reading the stories in order, until I got to a creepy one about zombies. I am super terrified of zombies. I routinely have panic attacks about them which is normally brought on by the fact that my boyfriend finds them fun and talks about them and reads books about the all the time. And then I have night mares and stay up late reading romance novels until I am not scared any more. So yeah after that first creepy zombie story I switched to only reading the Unicorn stories.

This anthology got the length right, all of the stories I read had enough time to develop a character and a connection to plot before it ended. One Unicorn story was rather hysterical and involved a drunk girl who was not a virgin and a surly unicorn that just wanted help. The story were unicorns are vicious and predators was interesting as well. There was one about a princess having an affair with a unicorn that I skim read a little to fast and cant tell you what happened because it wasn't interesting.

The one zombie story I did manage to read was rather epic and involved a new kind of zombie that was half cured enough that he had the ability to function on a certain level, enough so that he didn't want to kill the boy he liked. Gay zombies was a turn I was not expecting. The second one had that whole end of the world thing that creeps me out to no end and I rushed reading that one.

The thing that I really loved was that each story was prefaced by a mini argument or discussion between the two authors that started the fight. I found myself reading those no matter what, even for the zombie stories that I skipped and I enjoyed them greatly.

This is a book I suggest to anyone that likes zombies or has an interest in hearing more about this battle. There are some very comical moments and well written short stories. The cover also entertains me to no end to see zombies and unicorns in full on battle.