Book Review: Zombies vs Unicorns

I haven't really finished this book. I can't. It saddens me. Let me explain.

This book started when two writers began an argument about which was better zombies or unicorns. It turned into this big deal so they got other authors together (including Scott Westerfeld, Naomi Novik, Meg Cabot, Cassandra Clare and Garth Nix) to create an anthology were authors took sides and created this book. I saw part of the blog argument and then picked up the book at the library the other day. I mostly got it for my boyfriend because he loves zombies and when he saw the title he seemed interested.

I started reading the stories in order, until I got to a creepy one about zombies. I am super terrified of zombies. I routinely have panic attacks about them which is normally brought on by the fact that my boyfriend finds them fun and talks about them and reads books about the all the time. And then I have night mares and stay up late reading romance novels until I am not scared any more. So yeah after that first creepy zombie story I switched to only reading the Unicorn stories.

This anthology got the length right, all of the stories I read had enough time to develop a character and a connection to plot before it ended. One Unicorn story was rather hysterical and involved a drunk girl who was not a virgin and a surly unicorn that just wanted help. The story were unicorns are vicious and predators was interesting as well. There was one about a princess having an affair with a unicorn that I skim read a little to fast and cant tell you what happened because it wasn't interesting.

The one zombie story I did manage to read was rather epic and involved a new kind of zombie that was half cured enough that he had the ability to function on a certain level, enough so that he didn't want to kill the boy he liked. Gay zombies was a turn I was not expecting. The second one had that whole end of the world thing that creeps me out to no end and I rushed reading that one.

The thing that I really loved was that each story was prefaced by a mini argument or discussion between the two authors that started the fight. I found myself reading those no matter what, even for the zombie stories that I skipped and I enjoyed them greatly.

This is a book I suggest to anyone that likes zombies or has an interest in hearing more about this battle. There are some very comical moments and well written short stories. The cover also entertains me to no end to see zombies and unicorns in full on battle.

Bad Disney Channel is Bad

Dear Disney channel, what the hell is this? What is this! Answer me! Did you take another favorite Meg Cabot book and mess it up! Because I think you did. I've got my eye on you.

I was on my netflix because boyfriend had vetoed me when I wanted to watch more Dexter. I was clicking through new movies to watch so I clicked on a movie called Avalon High, which is mean a book by Meg Cabot that I liked a few years back. The book is based on this weird idea that King Arthur is going to be reincarnated and so are all the other people that were important to him. The book was epic because the main character is Ellie who turns out to be the reincarnation of the lady in the water. She befriends the new Arthur who goes by Will in this life. So much of it was perfect and funny and well written.

And then I watched this. First of all Ellie is now Ally, which I can take but it differs in the fact that the point was that the Merlin guy got confused because the woman Lancelot was married to was named Elanor which is her full name. Then the actress was short and blond when Ellie is supposed to be tall and a brunet. I get picky about details. Then all the actors look about ten and have the ability to deliver their lines as such. I was groaning off and on as the movie continued.

Then they up and f***ed the ending. Will is not King Arthur, Ally is. The teacher that taught her everything in the book is Mordred. The evil brother is good and loves Will. Merlin is a new character. And they just referenced that they Ally should have been the lady of the lake. Make it stop mommy! Make them stop ruining my favorite things. Did I mentioned that in the final battle they are in really cheapish looking armor? I didn't oh it was was. Geek kid just said the stupidest chant to get a magical staff. Oh goodness.

I would like to make the point that by changing who Arthur is messes up the whole Modred plan! It doesn't work! Did they change this just for the girl power aspect? Did they mess this up because Disney is really trying to stop showing women in a submissive position? Because in the books Ellie totally takes out Marco with a body slam and does most of the work and then because she is the lady of the lake the sword she gives Will is magical because she gives it to him. This is a massive disappointment.

"Wait if you are the reincarnation of King Arthur what does that make me?" -Will "My B***!" - Me. (yes I talk to the movies that make me crazy. stop looking at me like that.)

Also by making it a girl it ruins the whole point of there being a Jen, Lance and Will love triangle. It ruins it!  I am going to murder this credit song!!!!!

*storms of in a rage of fan girl hate

Book Review: Insatiable by Meg Cabot

So over the last couple of weeks I have been posting my book reviews on Wednesday. Mostly this has to do with my general lack of other things to do on Wednesday night. So from now on I am going to try and post a book review every Wednesday.

This week I am reviewing Insatiable by Meg Cabot. The book is Cabot's attempt at doing a "sequel" (according to her website) to Dracula. I am not really sure that is what the book ends up as. The story follows Meena Harper, a young woman who works as a dialogue writer for a popular soap opera. Meena also has the psychic ability to tell when and how people she meets are going to die and spend a good deal of time trying to warn off friends and family from possible doom.

Then there is Lucien, Dracula's son and charming vampire who is captivated by Meena and wants to run away with her. There is also Alaric Wolf who is a member of the Palatine Gaurd who is sworn to kill vampires and follows Meena to get to Lucien.

I still cant figure out if this book was sarcastic of serious. One scene she is clearly making fun of Twilight that its pretty much a case of copy right infringement. But then the first half of the book Meena spends the entire time talking about how stupid this obsession with vampires is and how stupid they are as a species. All of that I was on board for but then things switched up a bit. Suddenly I wanted to stab Meena for being exactly the kind of stupid woman she had made fun of earlier.


Spoiler Warning: If you are interested in reading this book stop now. If not this is a big part of the review.


The one thing that made the second half of the book tolerable at all is that Meena tells Lucien no. At the end of the book when he wants to sweep her away from everything she knows and loves and turn her into a vampire she says no to him and leaves. I liked that part a whole lot. As some one who has dropped everything to live with her man I can say that just dealing with that one person will make you crazy. Any real person would go nuts. So I respect Cabot for having Meena know that she needs to be a full person to be happy and that is not going to happen if she lets Lucien "take care of her." But everything before that was stupid.

Cabot is one of those writers you have to really love to enjoy this book at all. She isnt particularly original but her books are always funny. On the other hand she has two types of heroines that she writes, one is a kick ass take no shit kind of girl, and the other is wimpy and self doubting and loathing. Meena was mostly the second.

I got the book on tape and that might have been one of the big draw backs for me. I tend to skim pages about descriptions or when the female lead gets mushy (its the only way i was able to read Twilight without burning the damn thing) so the fact that i had to hear every word made me a bit crazy. I really didnt need to hear about Lucien's sad eyes as many times as I did.

Alaric Wolf was the only character I really liked because he was always who he was supposed to be. Lucien and Meena flip and flop as to who their character act but Alaric is pretty much hard headed and I love him for it.

Final rating: Don't read it, its not worth the time. Unless you are a die hard Cabot fan and want to see this for giggles. I would suggest picking up her Mediator series, its way better story telling and the characters are more believable.

Quote of the day

"Forget vampires, I want to be killed by Frankenstein. I like them big and stupid."

-Insatiable by Meg Cabot