Friday, December 31, 2010

Why We Need Parental Controls For Our Parents

My mother should never be allowed on the internet ever. And frankly no mom that I know should be. A few dads need to be monitored as well. I don't know if any of them are capable of traversing the internet without infecting their computers and ending up at stupid websites that are not helpful.

True once upon a time AOL was reliable internet and browser provider. Now it is a joke. It is the home of the pop up cookie. They list nothing but silly stories. It has never been the good at performing searches and frankly needs to be put down. We as a younger generation need to rise up and demand the permanent disbandment of AOL and force all users to download Google Chrome and use gmail.

My mom has some how managed to flip her name on Facebook. It now reads her Last First name. I can't figure out how she managed to do that. I tried to do it myself just to see and I can't seem to manage it. She doesn't even know how she did it. I could try to explain it to her but I am pretty sure that would take days over the internet and hours over the phone. But seeing as she hardly ever changes her password I am pretty sure I can make a few guesses and get in and fix it for her. And while I am at it I want to take away her ability to send people applications on Facebook because that is getting out of hand.

Further more she some how finds all these E-cards that I am pretty sure are laden with viruses. They are creepy and ask for me to join their services. When I went home to see her I could barely see any internet page because every halfassed company had a search bar insert, she had seven at least.

My boyfriend's mom sits on AOL for hours and then prints of the articles like they are to be trusted and hands them to us. Frankly I don't know how she gets to her email everyday seeing as the one time I clicked it by accident about eight windows popped up. And then she says that Google is confusing.

These reasons are why I think we need to create an internet aptitude and computer test for adults. The test would include, turning on a computer, opening and internet browser, searching for a few websites and images without ending up on a scam or miss-clicking to something crazy, sending and email that does not include ALL CAPS as a way of showing something is important, sending an attachment in an email that is not a virus or impossible to open, navigating away from a program, not downloading anything and everything, running a simple computer scan.

Anyone unable to pass this test would have parental controls placed on their computer so they cannot harm the machine and anyone else who might need use of it.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Book Review: Double Enchantment by Kathryne Kennedy

Two things I love: Magic and Bodice Rippers. Combine them into one and you pretty much have one of my addictions. I sorta hunt for these kinds of books. Recently its been easier to find them because people seem to have finally caught on to the genius that is my addiction. But really hard to find is books that take place in Victorian England plus magic and shape-shifters. Which is why I just added Kathryne Kennedy to my favorite authors self on my Nook. I mean business people.

In Double Enchantment Jasmina Karlyle makes an illusion of herself so she can return some jewlery her mother stole. Problem is the illusion become real and wanders to a party and then leaves with a man, sleeps with him and marries him. Then things get interesting. The plot is well paced and I am fond of the gnomes that make and appearance.

I was a little bored with the love line of the store, but at this point I have read so many romance novels that its rare an author throws me a curve ball. Its pretty standard. They hate each other, or are crazy mad about each other but something is preventing them. Sometimes both. Stuff happens. They realize their feelings a damn the consequences. Normally the man is a complete ass of some kind at least half of the book. (which is why I super loved Play of Passion because the guy was different. I need to reread that. its happening.)

The mystery in these books are pretty cool. (Did I mention this was part of a series? I didn't? Bad Alyse.) In the series there are these magical jewels call Merlin's Relics and they are extremely powerful, they are also the only magic that can fool or hurt a shape-shifter. In each book the characters along with the Prince are searching for the Relic because they always seem to fall into the wrong hands. They all seem to do different thing and are rather interesting. I have downloaded the next book and have every intention of reading it soon.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

MTV is Stupid

There is this British show called Skins. I watched it on Netflix a while back and it is pretty fantastic. Its pretty much a bunch of drunk British kids who sorta have no idea what they are doing and how to fix the problems that arise. Tony is the mastermind of the operation and is the cause and solution of many of the cast's issues. I watched the first and second season in about a week. I didn't watch the third season because the main characters switch to Tony's younger sister who in the first half never said a word.

A few days ago I saw an add on MTV for their "new" show Skins. At first I was laughing because they named an old show new. Then I saw an extended preview during "I used to be fat" tonight. They remade the show. Same damn characters, apparently the same plot lines, hell half of the shots in the show are frame for frame the same. The difference is that now the characters are not British and they have American accents. Two characters have flip flopped races, and Sid is now Stanley.
New sucky version

But I have fury!

The original was great. It was strange and all the slang was cool. A good deal of the show made more sense because they were British and half the shit wont work with Americans. I am not pleased.

Not to mention I get the feeling the plot line where the Middle Eastern kid and his best friend have issues, because the best friend is gay and insists that he tells his family that his best friend is gay. The the kid's dad talks over him when he tries to tell him he is gay, saying that he is his son's best friend and if they don't tell is wife he doesn't care. That's not going to fly on this side of pond. Hell half of it wont fly. So much rage!

I've been bad

I haven't really been working on here or my novel that sits half finished and completely outlined on my computer. Mostly I blame my new job. I never know when I am going to be working and when I do I am so tired afterward that I can't come up with anything creative.

It is crazy hard to think of anything interesting or original when you have spent the entire day asking customers how they like their bath to feel. I did get some material for a semi argument scene from one lady but that's really it. I outlined a few scenes in better detail right before Christmas and thought I was going to be awesome and work on it. But that didn't happen.

Now I am sitting glaring at my computer. I am glaring because I have no drive to write creatively and soon I will find out the fate of my job. On friday they are going to tell those of us who were hired for the season who is staying on. But frankly I am sorta hoping I don't get picked. I need a real person job, or at least a real person internship where I do real people work and get paid real people money. Not to mention have time to jot a thing or two down during my lunch hour.

Anyway. Britt was saying she just started something where she is going to post every day for a year on her blog. So I am going to try and do that as well. She started on Christmas. I am going to start today to be annoying, because why would I start on a set holiday or a date that is at all memorable?


Monday, December 27, 2010

Be Prepared

Because I have been working a lot lately I haven't had a ton of time to read. But I have had time to stalk the Barnes and Noble website for the free books they give me all the time. The thing is they don't really give me high quality books.

Back when I was first looking at getting a digital reader I remember seeing the fact that Barnes and Noble was going to include free weekly books as part of their Nook program. That plus a few other perks that Kindle didn't have swayed me to the Nook team. It was by the third free book that I realized they were giving me the ones that make me roll my eyes. Oh well. More material for you!

On another topic according to the blogger tracker apparently half of my viewership is from websites that are not in English. I am very interested in seeing how this works out.

I am going to go track down some really horrible books to read, laters!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Dear Holiday Shoppers

I don't work on commission, I am not trying to get you to buy more stuff so I can make money. But it is my store's policy to help you in every way possible. If I don't ask question about who you are shopping for and what they like then I will be pulled aside by my manager and asked why I am not asking enough questions.

And frankly this close to Christmas we both know "I'm just looking" is complete BS. Either you have some one on your list that you think might fit my store or you don't. I am glad you think It smells nice and you want to see what all the colors are about but if you realize you are not going to buy anything don't come in when we are jam packet and act as if its weird for me to ask what you would like you to help you find.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Bad Disney Channel is Bad

Dear Disney channel, what the hell is this? What is this! Answer me! Did you take another favorite Meg Cabot book and mess it up! Because I think you did. I've got my eye on you.

I was on my netflix because boyfriend had vetoed me when I wanted to watch more Dexter. I was clicking through new movies to watch so I clicked on a movie called Avalon High, which is mean a book by Meg Cabot that I liked a few years back. The book is based on this weird idea that King Arthur is going to be reincarnated and so are all the other people that were important to him. The book was epic because the main character is Ellie who turns out to be the reincarnation of the lady in the water. She befriends the new Arthur who goes by Will in this life. So much of it was perfect and funny and well written.

And then I watched this. First of all Ellie is now Ally, which I can take but it differs in the fact that the point was that the Merlin guy got confused because the woman Lancelot was married to was named Elanor which is her full name. Then the actress was short and blond when Ellie is supposed to be tall and a brunet. I get picky about details. Then all the actors look about ten and have the ability to deliver their lines as such. I was groaning off and on as the movie continued.

Then they up and f***ed the ending. Will is not King Arthur, Ally is. The teacher that taught her everything in the book is Mordred. The evil brother is good and loves Will. Merlin is a new character. And they just referenced that they Ally should have been the lady of the lake. Make it stop mommy! Make them stop ruining my favorite things. Did I mentioned that in the final battle they are in really cheapish looking armor? I didn't oh it was was. Geek kid just said the stupidest chant to get a magical staff. Oh goodness.

I would like to make the point that by changing who Arthur is messes up the whole Modred plan! It doesn't work! Did they change this just for the girl power aspect? Did they mess this up because Disney is really trying to stop showing women in a submissive position? Because in the books Ellie totally takes out Marco with a body slam and does most of the work and then because she is the lady of the lake the sword she gives Will is magical because she gives it to him. This is a massive disappointment.

"Wait if you are the reincarnation of King Arthur what does that make me?" -Will "My B***!" - Me. (yes I talk to the movies that make me crazy. stop looking at me like that.)

Also by making it a girl it ruins the whole point of there being a Jen, Lance and Will love triangle. It ruins it!  I am going to murder this credit song!!!!!

*storms of in a rage of fan girl hate

Book Review: Dark Secret by Christine Feehan

This is one of those authors I see all the time. I mean I see her books every single time I go the book store. I have always semi considered reading the books for a while but mostly I had other authors to be more interested in. Then I moved and was left with a library that had little to no romance novel selection.

I literally sat down and pulled out books one by one until I could find something where the back of the book didn't revolt me. I grabbed this one because I was like "sure, three hours time to give up." So this book there vampires, that aren't really vampires and they hunt the ones that are really vampires. But they lose emotions over time and get closer and closer to turning into vampires. The trick was it didn't but the word vampire on the back so I was tricked. That's been happening recently.

Anyway we have a woman who is really determined to take care of her family and her ranch. I like her, rather a bit actually a few times there she seems like she is going to punch the guy out and I want her to. The guy is stupid and one sided and I hates him. The entire book he does stuff against the girls will, and she sorta gets pissed but he get horny and she sorta puts up with it. She is pissed the whole book and then right before the end when he almost dies she suddenly loves him, and its not that she was upset that he almost technically raped her she was just afraid to love him.

There is something about mind control and evil vampires and turning against the will of the woman. There is some pretty cool sex scenes, which would almost redeem it but the story is rather retarded.

*bangs head against table.

What was I talking about? Wait was I doing a book review? Oh this lady? She has a lot of books out, right? So how is this so bad? Dear God why does this keep happening! I used to love this other author back when she started writing but by the 10th book I dropped the series for the sole fact that they sucked, and that every book made less and less sense. And yet they are popular and what not. argh.

Books like this are why I named the blog as such. Because I finish reading things like this book and I say that aloud, and then my boyfriend rolls over and tells me that I need to stop staying up to read a book I thought was stupid a third of the way in. He is right of course but I keep reading.

On top of all of that the book cover freaks me out. That model is creepy, look at it for about a minute and you will be fully scared of him.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Quote of the day

"Give some one the freedom of a myspace page and the worst you get is some stupid wallpapers and music. Give them only a gamer tag and what do you get.... alternating caps. People should not have these freedoms."
-Sean "Day 9" Plott, during a Starcraft replay mentioning how stupid gamer tags can get.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Library Books Smell Funny

I think this one smells like peanut butter, or something. But there  is a very strong nutty scent to this book and it is messing with me. I miss being able to buy books and have that fresh press smell. Library books are always a strange smelling bunch.

Book Review: Fool Moon by Jim Butcher

I picked up the next book in the Harry Dresden Files novels from the library. I think I am starting to enjoy the series all thought I still have issues with the portrayal of women in said books. Anyway lets dive right into this book.

The book starts off with Harry being really low on money because recently he hasn't had any jobs with the police department. The last book left a back stink on the relationship between Harry and Murphy the detective he normally works with. He has an argument with one of the women who locally is a practitioner of magic. She is asking about a a kind of magic that is beyond her and Harry says no he wont help her. After that Harry gets called by Murphy to come look at a crime scene. Very quickly we find out that the crime was commited by some kind of werewolf.

This is the part in the book where I went "Yay! Werewolves!" Anyone that knows me know that I have a preference for werewolves because they are the more epic of monsters out there. In this book there are several kinds of werewolves. First there is a kind that is a Human that simply learned how to change into a wolf. They are still a human but now they have a wolf like form they can take one. Second is a human that makes a deal with a demon to get a magical belt that turns them into a wolf, draw back is in this one the belt is evil and makes the person slowly turn into a demon. There is another kind where its the animal spirit in a human body and they never transform. Then there is the final version where the person is cursed to turn into a wolf-like-demon on every full moon. And we get to play with them all in this book.

I am not going to ruin the plot but lets just say shit gets crazy. Once again I would like to point out that I seriously doubt if Harry can run from a monster when 24 hours earlier he had the shit beaten out of him. I am just trying to be realistic about this. Also why are there so many women that are that hot hanging out around him, of does harry just have really low standards. I we got Susan who seems to love Harry for some reason. Murphy who can't figure out if she wants to shoot him or not. Then in this book there is Tera who may or may not be a wolf that figured out how to become a human and spends a lot of it being half naked and graceful. I dont know. Then the female FBI lady is all predatory. I am seriously starting to worry about Jim Butcher and his relationship history.

I vote read it.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Book Review: Ravished by a Highlander by Paula Quinn

Um, what was I doing? Oh yeah I was going to review this book, why was that? Because I picked it at the library and I need to review something. Not to mention that I don't have anything else really at the moment unless I pull out an older book so this will have to do.

I picked this book up because it had a shirtless guy wearing a kilt on the front. What can I say I am easily drawn by shinny things and shirtless men. I couldn't really read the description because the library put the tag over the back story. I was low on reading material so I surrendered.

I tend to like books that have kilts on the front because then its some kind of He-man taking a fiery woman away to his castle. Which makes me happy in the small cave-woman part of my brain. This one started off bad because it started in a convent. Nothing interesting in a romance novel could ever start in a convent. Because that means we are getting a super religious woman with faith and forgiveness and all that mojo. Romance novels are supposed to be passion and excitement not this really slow burn of love. Well at least that is my understanding, its not called a bodice ripper because things are tame.

The main plot here is that the woman is the secret first born of the brand new King of England. It was one of the James guys, and its right during that time when being Protestant or Catholic was a big deal for the royal family. There is a mention of the puritans having left so I think its about that new world time. The girl is secret because James is being forced to raise his children as Protestants but he is Catholic so he sends his first daughter away so that he can have a Catholic heir. And then we bring in the kilts and frankly there are about a thousand of them in the book that I can't even tell who is who beyond the main character.
I mean seriously after the third time they explained that the different guys were cousins I about smacked my head into the table.

There was nothing particularly great about this book. I never felt the chemistry or the passion between the two characters. At the end I was sorta like, um so I guess this is love sorta. Anyway this book was stupid, its ideas are stupid and I am bored.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Slow on the reading

The last couple of weeks have been crazy at work so I have no time to read right now. I will try to get a review up about Fool Moon by Jim Butcher in the next couple of days. But Monday is most likely when that will be happening.

Quote of the day

"The more I think about the line 'I want to be the friction in your jeans,' the more I think I am going to have an aneurysm. It is either extremely clever or extremely stupid."- Boyfriend talking about Fallout Boy lyrics.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Quote of the day

"When they brought up that first giant squid I think all my hopes and dreams were crushed. It easily fit in that boat. A giant squid should have been two hundred feet long, not twenty." - Boyfriend

Some time later.

"We need to genetically create a Krakin to make up for the epic failure that is the giant squid." -Boyfriend

Bad movie, epic monster.

Adventures in Cleveland

A few months ago I moved to Cleveland to live with my boyfriend. Having been dating him for three years I was well aware that snow was common in this area. I have been trapped in his house on many a visit by the snow. At the time I was rather thrilled to have snow to play in, and snow angels to make.

This is my house on an average December day
In Indiana snow comes and it goes. There is enough that you need to get the shovel out and go for your driveway, but a little bit of salt covers all the roads and keeps them safe. We have only had a few white Christmas's in recent years. I would say that normally we get one good blizzard, that is only about a third of a foot.

Two days ago I got to experience my first white out. Which was a little bit like having a panic attack while being trapped in a moving box surrounded by a sheet, no that is exactly what it was like. I was not driving at the time but I was freaking out totally. The worst part of it was that the snow appeared to be centered around this house. I checked and I now literally live in the area that receives the most snow out of all of Cleveland. There is a giant white cloud that hovers over us and poops endless amounts of snow on top of us. I am not kidding, google it. Chesterland Ohio has a snow vortex. It gets worse because they use well water around here there is no I repeat no use of salt on the roads. Factor that into your head. Tonight I saw at least eight people using snowmobiles as a legitimate mode of transportation and not something to do that was fun.

This is my boyfriend's house on an average December day. Ten points if you spot the driveway.

I have been watching the weather and its pretty much going to be snowing on and off for the rest of the week.  I had to break out the car with snow tires the other day because it was coming down that hard while i was driving. But I was starting to get used to the level of snow we had. I have to wear boots all the time, but I like my boots so there is nothing really wrong with that. This morning my boyfriend asked if I would come downtown with him so we could go out to dinner. At the time the snow as around the house but not anywhere else in the city. This is pretty common that we get about six miles away from the house and it is suddenly clear.

That was not the case today. According to the local news the city hasn't been hit this bad in a decade. About twenty minutes into the drive the traffic began to slow. We weren't worried it was an hour and a half before class was even going to start. It took us about twenty minutes or so to get passed a car that had spun out and hit the wall. There was some snow so we realized that all the cars were slowing down.

And then about half a mile from the exit all traffic stopped. The snow came down in total white out. We sat for two hours within normal viewing distance of where we needed to be. It was all kinds of fun. Not to mention the boyfriend missed his class and only walked in right before the teacher told everyone to leave. The local news people didn't make it to the station on time. Several of the basketball players showed up late to the NBA game tonight because they were stuck in traffic. Professors said they were just going to spend the night downtown rather than risk it. Cleveland State campus was officially closed but they couldn't leave because the parking lot was gridlocked. The student center was packed with kids unable to leave.

This is a new level of horror involved with snow, the likes of which I had never seen before. As the song so clearly states, "There's nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain." That pretty much sums it up.

I end today with a selection of photos that the local news put up of what Cleveland looked like.
This is what I looked at the entire time.

I was at this street. It looked like this for about two hours. I think I saw this car...

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Stuck in My Head

My boyfriend really loves Starcraft. I have learned to enjoy the game to a point, and I find that there is a large following of very funny people that make really funny stuff.

There is this one commentator that talks about all the games in Korea. He is the most famous commentator in Korea. His name is Nick Plott and he goes by Tastless, which is his id tag. And then some one went and made a song about him. And it is crazy catchy.

It will never get out of your head. Your welcome.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Some Reviews

I can't really muster the energy or enthusiasm to put too much effort into these two reviews. I got two books from the library because I didn't have any money to buy new books. Frankly I have seen these books for a while now and have up until this point avoided them out of a gut feeling. Then I tried to give them a shot figuring that Mercy Thompson is my favorite series and it isn't really a romance novel so I can try to give these a chance. I don't think I should have bothered.

The first book is Witchling by Yasmine Galenorn. The story follows three half fae sister who are sent to earth to work as part of a new task-force created to deal with fae and human relations. They are also supposed to protect portals to the land of the fae. the eldest sister is a witch, the middle a shape-shifter and the youngest is a vampire.  The first book is told from the point of view of the eldest sister, and she makes me a bit nuts. She only wears dresses and skirts, some of which I think the author doesn't know would look silly on anyone. She also always wears heels.

On top of that she has some kind of magical vagina because every man in the book is crazy about her. Oh yeah and some demons get lose and are trying to end the world or something. That's supposed to be the main part. It is, but frankly this book was a cock block. All this talk about sex and then the shortest descriptions I have read in ages, this book shouldn't be classified as romance.

I really think we need to iron out what does and does not constitute a romance novel. And I want to be the first to say I really don't think Nora Roberts counts. I would also like to say that if you are going to some how have the libraries put that little heart sticker on the spine there better be enough in that book to make my blood race, not a vague male description plus an vaguer sex description.

The second book is told from the point of view of the middle sister who seems more really that miss fetish. But then she goes and wears turtle necks half of the book. I want authors to know that no one under the age of 45 wears a turtle neck, and those women normally have given up on the their sex life. Young pretty women don't wear turtle necks unless they live in the arctic. Also I was really rooting for her to get with the werepanther because I am all about Were-animals. But apparently the human that didn't even really like her in the first book is way better. I really hate when the more relatable character doesn't get men. Its stupid.

I will most likely end up reading the next few books. But I have very little drive to finish it. So yeah. Read if any of this sounds good, or don't if you think you might get bored like me.

Also I just saw a photo of the author and suddenly get why the busty sister gets all the guys and the two thin ones can't find any. Lets just say that these books might have a lot to do with what she wishes would happen.

Quote of the day

"Don't you own all the Harry Potter movies? Why are you watching them on ABC Family?"