WTF

They are making a Ghost Rider Two. WHY? Is nicky cage that broke? I mean really no one needs that. No one.



And keep your grubby hands off Mass Effect!

Not Okay With This

I was talking to my friend Will about some of my recent posts and the subject of the Mortal Instrument series came up. This scum has some how become popular. If we want to talk about bad writing and overly formulaic we can just point at this series and end the conversation.

The main character is retarded. I mean who misses the fact that their mother has tiny scars all over them. How do you miss that? She has the predictably in love with her male best friend. And then she runs into a hot guy and his friends in a club, for people under 18. Which I would like to say there is no way that would be a cool place to be. They tried that in my town for a while. Teenagers are not good at being smooth or hip. They need to be kept in their little boxes and not let out into the real world until they can function like a person.

Anyway the story is also stupid silly. Guess what their is a world that none of us know about, and the hot guy is an elite warrior. Turns out main character is one of them and her mom was erasing her memories or something. I don't care. The gross part that made these books awful is the sustained idea that main character lady and hot guy might be siblings. They drag it out for a long time. The entire time they are doing heavy breathing and hot pants dance at each other. I mean I get that Japanese comics have these creepy stories about brother sister love but I was unaware it had come to this side of the Ocean. I mean really this is what the author came up with as a reason the main characters couldn't be together. Seriously? I don't care how hot the guy is, if you tell me he is my brother I am going to find other forums of entertainment.

Of course they are not siblings but it took three books of awful to straighten that out. You might ask why I read all three books if they were so bad, because I was depressed at the time and had nothing better to do. Another horror of the story is that has some steampunk influences, to which I have to say "stay away from my grene!"

Also there is one main character that is gay and dating a much older guy and they make a huge fuss about it. Like the entire cast of characters spend all their time trying to ignore or not talk about this fact but they all think about. So what, gays can't have trophy boyfriends? I do believe they can. I think this was just included so there would be a diversity character. It was an attempt at depth.

The villain basically wants to kill everything that isn't human or an elite warrior. There is no good reason for that other than a superiority complex. The books end with a fight coming down to drawing in the sand, not kidding. And then stupid girl asks for hot guy to come back to life from and angel. The angel even points out that she could ask for anything, world peace, and end to disease, or legalize pot (I put that in there) but no she picks her boyfriend. Seriously this is why we need to sterilize teenagers.

Anyway the main point of this over all rant is they want to make it into a movie. I say no!! No movie. Also they want to use blondie from Beastly and I think he doesn't need to be famous.

This is once again why I hate Twilight because it has set these low standards for what the media thinks it can feed teenage girls. Personally I like my fantasy to come with a brain. But no! Now there are books by the thousands about a girl that is in love with a supernatural boy, or she is the supernatural and he is normal. It doesn't matter. They are being pushed out there to flood the market.

I hates them.

Movie Review Piranha

When this movie came out in theaters over the summer I had really meant to go see it. My boyfriend and I on several occasions said we were going to go see it and then never got around to it. Now I am really glad we didnt.

The movie was a bit of a let down. This one movie reviewer I trust said it was tons of blood and girls and just sorta good bad. I wasn't expecting it to be epic but at lease pretty cool. Frankly I was forty five minutes into the movie before there was anything super entertaining. Before that point there was really only two deaths by fish in the movie. I was kinda bored for the first half really. And then all of a sudden it got crazy bloody. I had to stop eating the pizza I was having at the time to not get super grossed out. They really went all out with the prosthetic mayhem.

Another thing that was annoying was that there were two kids in the movie. I mean really two small children were part of this. We all know that no one is going to kill the kids but people trying to save them is going to end up causing others to die. And there was this whole plot with their older brother trying to get some money for a Girls Gone Wild kind of group. Which involved some really long drawn out moments. Not to mention they have this glass bottom boat that could never exist because glass that protruded would slow the boat down when its moving. But on a similar note there were a lot of tits in the movie. I mean not enough to really blow my mind or anything like that, but there were like four porn stars in the movie. My boyfriend was really entertained until he got his pizza and then it didn't really matter anymore.

The end of the movie is real punch in the face. It ends with this idea that the piranhas that have been attacking everyone all day are the babies and that there are larger ones out there, and then a giant one eats the scientist. Which begs the question if they are planning to make another movie about this, because I don't know if I can sit through it.

Also that outboard motor scene that looked like it was going to be epic in the trailer was a total let down.

Bad Disney Channel is Bad

Dear Disney channel, what the hell is this? What is this! Answer me! Did you take another favorite Meg Cabot book and mess it up! Because I think you did. I've got my eye on you.

I was on my netflix because boyfriend had vetoed me when I wanted to watch more Dexter. I was clicking through new movies to watch so I clicked on a movie called Avalon High, which is mean a book by Meg Cabot that I liked a few years back. The book is based on this weird idea that King Arthur is going to be reincarnated and so are all the other people that were important to him. The book was epic because the main character is Ellie who turns out to be the reincarnation of the lady in the water. She befriends the new Arthur who goes by Will in this life. So much of it was perfect and funny and well written.

And then I watched this. First of all Ellie is now Ally, which I can take but it differs in the fact that the point was that the Merlin guy got confused because the woman Lancelot was married to was named Elanor which is her full name. Then the actress was short and blond when Ellie is supposed to be tall and a brunet. I get picky about details. Then all the actors look about ten and have the ability to deliver their lines as such. I was groaning off and on as the movie continued.

Then they up and f***ed the ending. Will is not King Arthur, Ally is. The teacher that taught her everything in the book is Mordred. The evil brother is good and loves Will. Merlin is a new character. And they just referenced that they Ally should have been the lady of the lake. Make it stop mommy! Make them stop ruining my favorite things. Did I mentioned that in the final battle they are in really cheapish looking armor? I didn't oh it was was. Geek kid just said the stupidest chant to get a magical staff. Oh goodness.

I would like to make the point that by changing who Arthur is messes up the whole Modred plan! It doesn't work! Did they change this just for the girl power aspect? Did they mess this up because Disney is really trying to stop showing women in a submissive position? Because in the books Ellie totally takes out Marco with a body slam and does most of the work and then because she is the lady of the lake the sword she gives Will is magical because she gives it to him. This is a massive disappointment.

"Wait if you are the reincarnation of King Arthur what does that make me?" -Will "My B***!" - Me. (yes I talk to the movies that make me crazy. stop looking at me like that.)

Also by making it a girl it ruins the whole point of there being a Jen, Lance and Will love triangle. It ruins it!  I am going to murder this credit song!!!!!

*storms of in a rage of fan girl hate