You Need To See this one

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II

Thought of the day: A Problem with Cars and other rants

Here is another thing I thought about, are we really to believe the cars in these books. I mean I am to totally believe that all these guys are driving these cars.

It is a known fact that expensive car equals small penis. This is a fact. No normal person buys a Ferrari just because, they do it so people will think he has cool stuff to make up for his small penis. Iron Man and sports starts are the exception in that they are not real people.

And yes I realize that I read fantasy and that these are not real people, but still. When you set a fantasy in modern day there are a few things I expect to be on the normal side. One is clothes, which nearly every author fails at. No one really wears a leather duster and looks cool. The people that could pull it off don't wear it because its weird, and the people that do wear them can't pull them off. Velvet is not a real fabric. I don't know anyone outside of a nursing home that would buy purple velvet pants.

So yeah I also don't believe in the crazy expensive cars driven by the hunk. I really think that either the care or the description of in man bits has to be wrong. Why are none of them driving a Toyota? I mean they are kind of the car of choice for blending in, or a Honda. If all of these mythical creatures are really trying to blend into the modern world I think they would drive something more blend-y.

On the other hand I realize being completely realistic would be no fun. Beer gut is not going to get my panties in a twist so I realize that all these characters are an exaggeration. But just how my boyfriend is a whistle blower for science in shows I feel the need to point out when the illusion fails. I understand that a good deal of the populace and readership doesn't care or notice, but I do.

On another note Bioware did a cock block. For those not aware Bioware is the company that makes Dragon Age and Mass Effect. Both games have gotten press for a few reasons, mainly that they offer "alternative lifestyle love interests." Basically a few of the AI characters are bi and you can have a relationship with them and sleep with them. This was pretty cool when Mass Effect brought it out the first time. In Mass Effect the sex scene wasn't much but a glance or butt and side boob.  Dragon Age on the other hand the characters are still wearing their underwear the entire cut scene, which was odd.

But Dragon Age II sorta lost a grip. The lesbian version of the sex scene has both characters completely clothed for the entire cut scene. I can't figure out what is making them back down. They are a Canadian company, what do they care. I am sort of annoyed that each game progressively gets more tame. I am not mentioning Mass Effect II because half of the love interests are aliens and the cut scene are odd.

Not Okay With This

I was talking to my friend Will about some of my recent posts and the subject of the Mortal Instrument series came up. This scum has some how become popular. If we want to talk about bad writing and overly formulaic we can just point at this series and end the conversation.

The main character is retarded. I mean who misses the fact that their mother has tiny scars all over them. How do you miss that? She has the predictably in love with her male best friend. And then she runs into a hot guy and his friends in a club, for people under 18. Which I would like to say there is no way that would be a cool place to be. They tried that in my town for a while. Teenagers are not good at being smooth or hip. They need to be kept in their little boxes and not let out into the real world until they can function like a person.

Anyway the story is also stupid silly. Guess what their is a world that none of us know about, and the hot guy is an elite warrior. Turns out main character is one of them and her mom was erasing her memories or something. I don't care. The gross part that made these books awful is the sustained idea that main character lady and hot guy might be siblings. They drag it out for a long time. The entire time they are doing heavy breathing and hot pants dance at each other. I mean I get that Japanese comics have these creepy stories about brother sister love but I was unaware it had come to this side of the Ocean. I mean really this is what the author came up with as a reason the main characters couldn't be together. Seriously? I don't care how hot the guy is, if you tell me he is my brother I am going to find other forums of entertainment.

Of course they are not siblings but it took three books of awful to straighten that out. You might ask why I read all three books if they were so bad, because I was depressed at the time and had nothing better to do. Another horror of the story is that has some steampunk influences, to which I have to say "stay away from my grene!"

Also there is one main character that is gay and dating a much older guy and they make a huge fuss about it. Like the entire cast of characters spend all their time trying to ignore or not talk about this fact but they all think about. So what, gays can't have trophy boyfriends? I do believe they can. I think this was just included so there would be a diversity character. It was an attempt at depth.

The villain basically wants to kill everything that isn't human or an elite warrior. There is no good reason for that other than a superiority complex. The books end with a fight coming down to drawing in the sand, not kidding. And then stupid girl asks for hot guy to come back to life from and angel. The angel even points out that she could ask for anything, world peace, and end to disease, or legalize pot (I put that in there) but no she picks her boyfriend. Seriously this is why we need to sterilize teenagers.

Anyway the main point of this over all rant is they want to make it into a movie. I say no!! No movie. Also they want to use blondie from Beastly and I think he doesn't need to be famous.

This is once again why I hate Twilight because it has set these low standards for what the media thinks it can feed teenage girls. Personally I like my fantasy to come with a brain. But no! Now there are books by the thousands about a girl that is in love with a supernatural boy, or she is the supernatural and he is normal. It doesn't matter. They are being pushed out there to flood the market.

I hates them.

Dear Librarians

Don't simply recommend and author to me because you see there is a fantasy sticker on my books. All fantasy is not made equal. At least know the authors I like before you jump to tell me I need to read a series.