Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thought of the day: A Problem with Cars and other rants
It is a known fact that expensive car equals small penis. This is a fact. No normal person buys a Ferrari just because, they do it so people will think he has cool stuff to make up for his small penis. Iron Man and sports starts are the exception in that they are not real people.
And yes I realize that I read fantasy and that these are not real people, but still. When you set a fantasy in modern day there are a few things I expect to be on the normal side. One is clothes, which nearly every author fails at. No one really wears a leather duster and looks cool. The people that could pull it off don't wear it because its weird, and the people that do wear them can't pull them off. Velvet is not a real fabric. I don't know anyone outside of a nursing home that would buy purple velvet pants.
So yeah I also don't believe in the crazy expensive cars driven by the hunk. I really think that either the care or the description of in man bits has to be wrong. Why are none of them driving a Toyota? I mean they are kind of the car of choice for blending in, or a Honda. If all of these mythical creatures are really trying to blend into the modern world I think they would drive something more blend-y.
On the other hand I realize being completely realistic would be no fun. Beer gut is not going to get my panties in a twist so I realize that all these characters are an exaggeration. But just how my boyfriend is a whistle blower for science in shows I feel the need to point out when the illusion fails. I understand that a good deal of the populace and readership doesn't care or notice, but I do.
On another note Bioware did a cock block. For those not aware Bioware is the company that makes Dragon Age and Mass Effect. Both games have gotten press for a few reasons, mainly that they offer "alternative lifestyle love interests." Basically a few of the AI characters are bi and you can have a relationship with them and sleep with them. This was pretty cool when Mass Effect brought it out the first time. In Mass Effect the sex scene wasn't much but a glance or butt and side boob. Dragon Age on the other hand the characters are still wearing their underwear the entire cut scene, which was odd.
But Dragon Age II sorta lost a grip. The lesbian version of the sex scene has both characters completely clothed for the entire cut scene. I can't figure out what is making them back down. They are a Canadian company, what do they care. I am sort of annoyed that each game progressively gets more tame. I am not mentioning Mass Effect II because half of the love interests are aliens and the cut scene are odd.